With the release of
Poseidon we return to one of Hollywood’s worst habits – remaking films that don’t need to be remade. Poseidon is only 34 years old and stars Gene Hackman. You can still watch Hackman in current films and rent the original, why remake it? Hollywood eats their old, I suppose that’s the case with movies as well.
So in honour of
Poseidon I’ve put together the worst and the best movie remakes (to be fair, some are good). I actually did this for work so this allows me to be a lazy blogger and repurpose something I’ve already written. Check out
Dose if you want to see the
full picture version.
Worst Movie Remakes:1. Director Gus Van Sant recreated Alfred Hitchcock's masterpiece
Psycho shot for shot, but with Anne Heche and in colour. What, exactly, was the point?
2. Take a fantastic French film like
La Femme Nikita, lighten the tone and put in a U.S. actor and you get
Point of No Return, a pale shadow of the original. Can't people read subtitles?
3. Auteur Tim Burton's version of
Planet of the Apes proves why indie directors shouldn't be given massive budgets -- there is nothing to reign them in, resulting in a bloated letdown.
4. Remember when you said how funny Nicole Kidman was? Oh right, nobody has ever said that. Too bad the producers of
The Stepford Wives didn't realize that.
5. Adam Sandler, not satisfied with making horrible, but original, movies decided to mess with
The Longest Yard. Hits to the groin ensue. Ha, ha.
Best Movie Remakes:1. George Clooney, Brad Pitt and crew took a huge risk making themselves out as a modern day Rat Pack in
Ocean's 11 but they manage it with wit and style. Too bad about
Ocean's 12.
2. Though everyone should make an effort to see Akira Kurosawa's
Seven Samurai, the Western version,
The Magnificent Seven, is itself a classic. Plus it has Yul Brynner!
3. "Say hello to my little friend!" Al Pacino's bloody
Scarface was so succesful at creating a new movie icon, few even realize it based on a 1932 film. What all remakes should aspire to.
4. Director David Cronenberg takes the campy Vincent Price verion of
The Fly and adds terror and gore (and Jeff Glodblum), creating a remake that stands above the original.
5. Taking on
King Kong for the third time, director Peter Jackson applied modern special effects and proved there was still life in the giant ape. Technology, it's a good thing.
Ed Wood meets Raoul Duke, crossed with Edward Scissorhands and Willy Wonka. I love everything about the new images from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, especially Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter.
I like musicals. That is to say I don’t think they are the most annoying form of entertainment created by humans. No, wait, I’m equivocating again. I’ve actually seen more singing and dancing than I’ve ever acknowledged and I’ve been known to enjoy it.
With the release of Poseidon we return to one of Hollywood’s worst habits – remaking films that don’t need to be remade. Poseidon is only 34 years old and stars Gene Hackman. You can still watch Hackman in current films and rent the original, why remake it? Hollywood eats their old, I suppose that’s the case with movies as well.
