I never liked superhero comics as a kid. When I was eight a family friend gave me his entire comic book collection, a couple of boxes worth, a true treasure trove. I dug through the pile, separating the Archies, Richie Riches, Casper the Friendly Ghosts and Scrooge McDucks of the collection, separating them from the masked avengers, caped crusaders and their dark-panelled ilk.
I then sold all the heroes.
Their grim worlds just couldn’t compete with the bright fantasies of the poor little rich boy or the thoughts of diving through a bank vault full of coins. I wasn’t ready for their dystopian visions yet, or maybe I just liked the idea of all of that conspicuous wealth. Things sure have changed.
I later came to appreciate the heroes through cartoons, TV and movies. I watched the original
Spider-Man with its jerky animation and endless scenes of web slinging off of empty flagpoles. I followed the
Super Friends and still snicker at the phrase “Wonder Twins power, activate!” Campy as it was, I still enjoy the old
Batman and love the fact that Adam West has pulled a Shatner-esque career revival. Watching the
Incredible Hulk was a weekly ritual (he was like
The Littlest Hobo, except angry, and I liked him when he got angry.) And Christopher Reeve was Superman, even if he fought Richard Pryor.
So when the comic book movies trend began in the late ‘80s, I understood where they were coming from, at least in a diluted form. I loved Tim Burton’s
Batman (even though I thought Val Kilmer was a better choice than Michael Keaton) and I appreciated that
Batman Begins toned down the supervillains and grounded the series. Ang Lee did an impression of placing a camera over top of a comic book and yelling action, and his
Hulk failed. Whereas Robert Rodriguez’s
Sin City succeeded when he filmed a comic book from the inside out, sans animation.
But the series that have captured the spirit, at least as I understand it, are
Spider-Man and
X-Men. Both tied emotional depth, gravitas and angst to cutting-edge special effects and making things blow up real good. Much like anyone who attempts a dinosaur movie will be compared to
Jurassic Park, they have set the bar high for all those who follow.
Which brings me to
X-Men: The Last Stand. With original director Bryan Singer off to helm
Superman Returns (the most milquetoast of heroes), the reins fell to Brett Ratner, who appears to understand the basics, but has few tricks of his own. It’s as it he decided that everyone knows the characters already, so let’s just get on to the fighting. Which, I admit, looks fantastic. It
raked in over $100 million over the weekend, so people obviously agreed, but I hope some of the newcomers go back and watch the first two films to see what they missed. There is little depth or emotional resonance and you need some of both to care. A major character is killed off early in the film and I felt nothing.
During the credits the fanboys sitting behind me in the theatre said, “I bet (Ratner’s) never even read an
X-Men comic. Somebody probably just told him who they are.” I haven’t read one either, despite it’s 40 plus years of existence, but even I know this series deserves better than treading water.
Through a strange series of events the Central Perk crew took on the powers of the Super Friends to become the Super Whiners:
Andy Kuhn re-imagines the Futurama gang as the Justice League of America. Love Bender as Batman but I just can't imagine Fry ever being fast enough to be Flash. Maybe the worms got back into him like they predicted. (Link via Geek Mythology)
If Pablo Picasso were painting today would he have done portraits of superheros and villains? Ah... probably not, but it doesn't matter because Mike Esparza of WonderBros. has shown us what it would look like. Head to his site to see all 20 variations. (Link via The Daily What)
But perhaps surrealist superheros aren't your thing and you'd rather hang an abstract expressionist take on Donkey Kong or anther video game on your wall instead. Then Brock "Laser Bread" Davis is the man for you. (Link via Geekologie)
Paris Hilton is a fictional character and I suspect that a cabal of tabloid editors and paparazzi photographers created her to increase sales. The money made off of Hilton would far outweigh whatever they would have to pay an actress to play the character – even if that actress was Paris herself.
The Phantom Zone
I never liked superhero comics as a kid. When I was eight a family friend gave me his entire comic book collection, a couple of boxes worth, a true treasure trove. I dug through the pile, separating the Archies, Richie Riches, Casper the Friendly Ghosts and Scrooge McDucks of the collection, separating them from the masked avengers, caped crusaders and their dark-panelled ilk.
But the series that have captured the spirit, at least as I understand it, are Spider-Man and X-Men. Both tied emotional depth, gravitas and angst to cutting-edge special effects and making things blow up real good. Much like anyone who attempts a dinosaur movie will be compared to Jurassic Park, they have set the bar high for all those who follow.
It’s not a good thing when you watch five trailers and you realize you’ve seen them all. It’s not like I’ve actually watched the films, but it certainly felt that way. They were: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Take the Lead, X-Men 3, Superman Returns and Poseidon. Remakes or sequels all.
