I'm The King Of The Universe!

I loved Hurt Locker, but this is pretty much how I figure it will go at the Oscars. I barely feel invested in this year's race, but I can't not make a few picks.

Best Picture: Avatar - they can't ignore a film that has made a couple of billion dollars.
Best Director: Kathyrn Bigelow - Hurt Locker's concession to losing Best Picture.
Best Actor: Jeff Bridges - I haven't seen Crazy Heart, but Bridges is the only choice anyone is making.
Best Actress: Sandra Bullock - The Blind Side's reward for a Best Picture nod.
Best Supporting Actor: Mo'Nique - Like Bridges, the runaway favourite. 
Best Supporting Actress: Christoph Waltz - He owned every scene of Inglourious Basterds he was in and was a thrill to watch.
Best Original Screenplay: I want Inglourious Basterds to win, if just to watch Quentin Tarantino to bring his sweaty, nervous energy to the Oscar podium.
Best Adapted Screenplay: I'm going with District 9 because I enjoyed it, but that's usually the kiss of death for my choices.
Best Animated Film: Up has the only real shot here.

These are hardly out-there picks, so if you want to win your Oscar pool, you'll have to do it in the other 15 categories. I have no idea about these, so you're on your own, but you can pretty much pick Avatar for any technical categories. Oh yeah, and Logorama for Best Animated Short, one I actually posted about.  (Pic via Comixed)

Previously on Popped Culture...
Team Avatar: Pandora Police
Meanwhile, In The Parallel Lost Universe...
Titanic Wars

Oscar Night Predictions: Every Slumdog Has His Day

I feel like a fraud. As of two nights ago the only Oscar-nominated films I'd seen were The Dark Knight, Tropic Thunder and Wall-E. My bragging rights came from having caught Waltz With Bashir at the Toronto Film Festival in September.

This might not seem like a big deal to some, but I used to run a commercial mainstream entertainment website for four years and even my current co-workers ask me, "I thought you some sort of culture vulture?" Some vulture. Some days I barely even get a whiff of the corpse, let alone get a good chew, especially when it comes to movies. I suppose that comes with the territory - an early-morning job and an active two-year-old. But still.

Last night I may have stumbled across the solution, though it feels like a Faustian bargain. A friend passed along a website (http://www.watch-movies-links.net/) where all the Oscar-nominated films are steaming, along with some 10,000 other films. We watched Slumdog Millionaire on the laptop with no problem. It was clearly a screen and had some occasional pixelization issues, but the stream never dropped, never buffered.

I do have some problems with this. I know I lost some of the visual wonder of having not seem this on a big screen or even in a DVD format on my TV. I also think content creators should get paid. I get that films cost money — I'm no privacy advocate.

That being said, I loved the experience. I popped on the site, typed in a name of what I wanted to see, clicked and it played. No fuss. I want to see these film, but I can't right now, so what can I do. This site embodies what we have been promised for years — being able to chose what you want to watch, when you want to. Truly personalized and on-demand.

This site could be the Napster of movies and the studios need to learn the lessons of the music industry and not try to quash it, but get behind it and find a way to monetize it. There will always be pirates, but make a site like this that is simple to use, delivers a good product and for a reasonable price and I will pay and so will others. It's why iTunes has succeeded.

The other point of this rant is I will likely be catching up with the other films soon, but don't actually believe that you need to see them to enter — and win — an Oscar pool. And with that, here are my predictions for what they are worth.

BEST PICTURE
Slumdog Millionaire

DIRECTING
Slumdog Millionaire

ACTOR, LEADING
Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler

ACTRESS, LEADING
Kate Winslet in The Reader

ACTOR, SUPPORTING
Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight

ACTRESS, SUPPORTING
Viola Davis in Doubt

SCREENPLAY, ORIGINAL
Milk

SCREENPLAY, ADAPTED
Slumdog Millionaire

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Waltz with Bashir

ANIMATED FEATURE
WALL-E

CINEMATOGRAPHY
Slumdog Millionaire

VISUAL EFFECTS
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

ART DIRECTION
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

COSTUME DESIGN
The Duchess

FILM EDITING
Slumdog Millionaire

MAKEUP
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Trouble the Water

DOCUMENTARY SHORT
The Conscience of Nhem En

SHORT FILM, ANIMATED
Presto

SHORT FILM, LIVE ACTION
Spielzeugland (Toyland)

SOUND EDITING
The Dark Knight

SOUND MIXING
The Dark Knight

ORIGINAL SCORE
Slumdog Millionaire

ORIGINAL SONG
Down to Earth from WALL-E

And here are my sources:
EW's Oscar predictions
Film Experience
Awards Daily: Oscar Contender Tracker
New York Magazine: Oscar Predictions You Can Bet On!

And after a couple of years of live blogging this Hollywood love-in, I think I will leave that task to the millions of others who have taken to the sport. I may drop in at The Ampersand, just to see what they have to say, but other than that I might just watch the show.

Update:
I got 16/24 right, about my usual par. Last year was 15/24, so having watched fewer films made no real difference whatsoever. I bet against Slumdog twice (what was I thinking?) and lost on a few of the smaller tech categories. I also went for Rourke in the 50/50 contest and got the short stick. Ah well.

Other than that, a fairly tight show, though they could drop at least one of sound categories and maybe the original song, which is mostly played over closing credits and has nothing to do with the film (Slumdog notwithstanding.)

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Backlash

You'd think 13 Academy Award nominations would garner you a little love, but it appears not everyone thinks The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is Oscar worthy. Specifically the creators of the Official Anti-Benjamin Button Club, whose goal is to ensure "one of the most pretentious, hackneyed and blatant attempt(s) to win an Oscar ever made" does not succeed.

Now I have heard of For Your Consideration campaigns before, but not one to get people to consider not voting for a film. And they really don't like the movie:

There are haikus:
old man you are small
time passes hummingbirds fly
why why three hours

Suggestions to the Academy:
If you like Benjamin Button, you might also enjoy: Turner and Hootch; Licking batteries; Moss

And helpful videos that suggest we may have seen this somewhere before:

The Curious Case of Forrest Gump - watch more funny videos

I haven't seen the movie myself, but they make a compelling case to spend my three hours elsewhere

Oscar nominations: Slumdog Button

So Heath Ledger is in for an Oscar nod but the Dark Night gets shut out for both picture and director.

A friend of mine, who just happens to be a film critic, says "if you're a professional Movie Critic calling "The Dark Knight" or "Revolutionary Road" The Best! Movie! Of the Year!, then you need to see more movies."

This lays at the heart of the Academy's identity problem. It wants to award the best films of the year, but nobody ever believes that they go — just look at all the Oscar snubs lists — and all the prognosticators who will list both what should win and what will win.

Of course they wont to be popular, but they don't want to be seen to be pandering to the public. Which makes it so hard when that booze-soaked upstart Golden Globes, which is a critic's group, at least nominally.

My point? The Oscars is chasing ratings and credibility and won't get either.

But then they went and nominated Robert Downey Jr. for Tropic Thunder, in black face no less, while Wall-E can't escape the Animated Film ghetto. Looks like this is Slumdog Millionaire's year. Who knows what they are up to?

One positive note Waltz With Bashir gets a Foreign Film nominations — everyone should see this film. A blend of documentary and animation about one soldier trying to reconstruct his memories of Israel's 1982 incursion into Lebanon, Waltz With Bashir has grown on me so much since we saw it at the Toronto Film Festival in September, I'd say it was the best picture of year. So maybe the Academy does get some things right.

But other than that, it was mostly anticlimactic. Here are the major nominations for the 81st Annual Academy Awards:

Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire, Milk, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon and The Reader

Best Actor: Richard Jenkins “The Visitor”, Sean Penn “Milk”, Frank Langella “Frost/Nixon”, Mickey Rourke “The Wrestler”, Brad Pitt “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”

Best Actress: Kate Winslet “The Reader”, Meryl Streep “Doubt”, Anne Hathaway “Rachel Getting Married”, Angelina Jolie “Changeling”, Melissa Leo “Frozen River”

Director: Danny Boyle “Slumdog Millionaire”, David Fincher “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, Stephen Daldry “The Reader”, Gus Van Sant “Milk”, Ron Howard “Frost/Nixon”

Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger “The Dark Knight”, Josh Brolin “Milk”, Philip Seymour Hoffman “Doubt”, Robert Downey Jr “Tropic Thunder”, Michael Shannon “Revolutionary Road”

Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”, Viola Davis “Doubt”, Marisa Tomei “The Wrestler”, Taraji P. Henson “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, Amy Adams “Doubt”

Best Animated Feature: Bolt, Kung-Fu Panda, Wall-E

Best Original Screenplay: Frozen River, Happy Go Lucky, In Bruges, Milk, Wall-E

Best Adapted Screenplay: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Doubt, Frost/Nixon, Slumdog Millionaire, The Reader

Best Foreign Language Film: The Class, Der Baader Meinhof Komplex, Revanche, Departures, Waltz with Bashir

-------

My many, many thanks to Pamela Westoby for her stunning tenure at the helm of Popped Culture while I lazed away a week in chilly Florida. She deserves a nomination. And may I also nominate America for Heineken at the 7/11, Denny's Grand Slam breakfast and Target for bringing back desert boots!

Joker Golden, Dark Night Not So Much

The collection of part-time journalists that make up the Hollywood Foreign Press Association announced the Golden Globe nominations today and managed to lock in Heath Ledger's Oscar hopes and skewer The Dark Knight's chances, all in one fell swoop.

The Golden Globes have an incredible amount of influence for such an otherwise unremarkable and insignificant group. Its crowning achievement is having created an award show and getting the Hollywood to buy into it as a way to market their movies. Which means what they nominate tends to carry a lot of weight with everything that follows. Or they are just a crutch for lazy/busy members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.

So when Heath Ledger's darkly electric performance was nominated, posthumously, for Best Supporting Actor, it means you can check that box off on your Oscar ballot right now. It's the free box everyone gets on their bingo card. Subsequently, the Globes snubbing of The Dark Night throws some cold water on the chance of an Academy Award for the comic book adaptation. The Globes have twice as many Best Picture slots as the Oscars, and without this nod, the odds for Gotham's savior have faded. That's award season for you.

The other curiosity of this time of year is kudos being piled high upon films that nobody but select critics have seen. It rankles me about being told that the best film of the year is something that you haven't even has a chance to see. For example, The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button won't be out until Christmas Day, and it is leading the nominations.

Not that I don't want to see it, of course. It looks great, I like Brad Pitt and director David Fincher has yet to let me down. And were that not enough, there is a trailer for it that uses a perfect piece of music from Arcade Fire.

If a Caribou Wins in Toronto, Does Anybody Hear?

Electronica artist Caribou won the third annual Polaris Music Prize Monday night, a prize that has quickly become the preeminent music award in Canada, due to its $20,000 jackpot and the involvement of 178 music journalists, bloggers, broadcasters and critics - which keeps any complaints at the final results to a minimum.

This years short list of nominees was a mix of music I knew and just as many that I had never heard of: Black Mountain, Plants and Animals, Basia Bulat, Stars, Shad, Kathleen Edwards, Two Hours Traffic, Holy Fuck, The Weakerthans

So this is where my friend Kyle comes in with his site Six Pix Mix. Kyle has been blogging a weekly sampling of great music, often new, indie and obscure (depending on your music geek level).

Anywho... he put together a Polaris sampler that you should check out. Go there, now.

Lights, Cameras, Oscar Live Blog

So even the writer's strike couldn't stop the show from going on, and while I think it would have been amusing to see this bloated love-in taken down, now that it is here I might as well as snipe from the sidelines. I couldn't bring myself to watch the red carpet though, but for a full rundown of all the fakery, check out The Ampersand and Inside the Box. On with the show...

8:30 - Just a big ol' montage — every film needs a montage.

8:33 - Jon Stewart acknowledges the writer's strike right off the top — nice to see, I suppose you can't ignore the elephant in the room. He's looking way more comfortable than last time.

8:35 - "Thank goodnees for teen sex!" Truer words were never spoken.

8:36 - The first Jack Nicholson reaction shot. They will return to it again and again and...

8:38 - Going after Dennis Hopper? Seems a little odd and easy, but ok. Oh, but he did teach everyone how to find their own porn name, thanks to Juno screenwriter Diablo Cody, which is also a fine porn name. Mine is Sasha St. George.

8:39 - Iraq humour is not going down so well, but jokes at Republicans? Bullseye.

8:40 - The camera guys keep panning to black members of the audience each time Stewart mentions Barack Obama. It's already predictable.

8:42 - Aren't they supposed to start with a big award? Costume design is the first up, which leads me to believe we are in for a long night. First Oscar goes to Elizabeth: The Golden Age and I am batting zero on the Oscar pool. Nice short speech though. Did they have the Babs clip ready if somebody went short?

8:47 - George Clooney comes up to joke about how long the show is and then presents a clip that will help it drag on. It's 80 years of Oscars as the show tries to get a piece of what every online site, paper and magazine has been running for the past few weeks. Can't blame 'em for trying to get a piece of the action I suppose. On the up side there was a great shot of Jack with what looked like hair plugs. God Hollywood loves themselves.

8:51 - Steve Carrell gets a Get Smart intro. They are really going to push that film. Hmm, they really needed the writers to put together that "spontaneous" dialogue?

8:54 - Ratatouille wins for Animated Film and I'm on the board. Where is the Simpson Movie in this category? Nowhere, that's where. Let that be a lesson for anyone who waits a full decade after they were at the top of their game. And the winner is the first to be played off the stage.

8:57 - La Vie en Rose wins for Best Makeup. Another win for me, another play off the stage.

8:59 - While I don't find people reading lists of names all that enticing, I'd pick that over performances of the Best Original Song. Play long clips of the Best Picture nominees, linger on Jack smirking at the camera — anything but these songs which have so little to do with the films.

9:07 - Visual Effects? Really saving up the for the biggies aren't they? And the Rock as a presenter? Is that some sort of comment about wrestling?

9:08 - The Golden Compass wins and my Oscar picks drop to 50/50. So in a battle between polar bears and giant transforming robots, the bears win. Who knew?

9:10 - We are whipping through the tech categories — take that newspapers with early deadlines. Sweeny Todd wins for Art Direction and I'm back on the plus side, for anyone who is keeping track. Much love for Johnny Depp — and who can blame them? He is the coolest man on earth.

9:13 - Jon says Cate Blanchett is unstoppable. She's a double nominee for Elizabeth and I'm Not There, but that's the sort of thing that tends to split your vote. We'll see soon enough.

9:15 - Cuba Gooding's repeat speech is longer than the first winner of the night. Whatever happened to that guy?

9:18 - Woo hoo, Javier Bardem wins for No Country for Old Men! The first for a No Country sweep? Bardem was so incredibly creepy, it's well deserved. Other than "thanking" the Coen's for his bob haircut, he spends the rest of his time thanking his mom in Spanish — what a sweet guy. C'mon Academy, give these folks some more time.

9:23 - Stewart continues his riff on the writer's strike with "faux" Oscar montages — tributes to periscopes and binoculars and bad dreams. Beats out these Best Song sections.

9:26 - You know what I miss? Interpretive dancing. That was at least terrible enough to be enjoyable. These are just good bathroom breaks. Ha, Stewart just rolled his eyes!

9:28 - Look Owen Wilson is at the Oscars and isn't in the dead people montage!
Too soon?

9:30 - Le Mozart Des Pickpockets wins for Live Action Short Film and I'm back to 50% in the pool. Arrgh!

9:32 - Seinfeld does the bee thing and it is good. I wonder how many times he's been asked to host? Peter and the Wolf wins and I am being killed in my picks. Good thing I'm not at any fabulous party or anything.

9:37 - An hour in and only the second major award of the night. Tilda Swinton wins and swears she is going to give her Oscar to her agent. We'll see if that happens. And she appears to dedicate it to George Clooney's Batman nipples as well.

9:44 - Jessica Alba is a hot mommy-to-be. She hosted the Scientific and Technical Awards which makes you wonder, if they have a show like that, how did TWO sound editing awards make it to the big show?

9: 46 - Only the second Jack mugging of the evening. What's going on?

9:47 - More Jack. There we go. And what a terrible intro for an award about writing - a stilted reading of famous lines. The Coen's win Best Adapted Screenplay for No Country and they have an equally awkward acceptance speech. Their talent is behind the camera, not in front of it. Sadly, it means Sarah Polley loses, but I'm sure this is a case where it was an honour just to be nominated.

9:50 - An explanation about how the voting process works. Yet another bit that has been covered in features in the weeks proceeding, ad nauseum. At least even Stewart knows how lame it is: "That's amazing."

10:02 - Knocked Up's Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen bicker over which one of them is Halle Berry (you had to be there). I can only give thanks that neither of them wore a dress.

10:04 - Yay for Bourne Ultimatum, which picks up an Oscar for Sound Editing. The Bourne series needs more recognition for its reinvention of the action film. Too bad it is not on my Oscar ballot.

10:05 - And then they go right ahead and do so, which wins for Sound Mixing. Which, I believe, means Transformers has been shut out at the Oscars. I'm unbelievably relieved.

10:13 - Marion Cotillard wins for La Vie En Rose and seems truly thankful and stunned. You will see that clip played next year. And I am officially killed on the ballot this year. My apologies to anyone who read the previous post. This is also an upset for Julie Christie, the presumed favourite and he director Sarah Polley.

10:18 - Colin Farrell almost wipes out on stage, but then he doesn't. I'm kinda bored now, but seeing as they are playing another song it's time for snacks and beverages.

10:22 - Jack gets the stage and he's got another pair of sunglasses. He's smirking, but who knows why, he's Jack. Then in yet another montage, all the previous Best Pictures are shown, with both the picture and titles cut off. Bang up job there, Academy or CTV. One of you.

10: 27 - Unforgiven becomes Forgiven and Gladiator is Ladiator. Turns out that was more amusing than I expected.

10:29 - Bourne Ultimatum wins again, this time for Film Editing. I'll have to check the stats, but I think that makes it the big winner of the night, at least so far. "Someone just took the lead in their Oscar pool based on a guess," says Stewart. So true, and it's not me.

10:31 - Even pregnancy can't make Nicole Kidman glow. Damn, she's icy.

10:36 - The Honorary Oscar winner, Robert Boyle, is old enough to refer to Alfred Hitchcock as Hitch. That's cool.

10:42 - Time for the foreign film award — turns out that wasn't La Vie en Rose. Austria wins for The Counterfeiters. Never bet against a Holocaust film.

10:44 - Another song. I wonder if I still have pizza in the fridge? I do, score!

10:49 - John Travolta, who is looking more like Steven Segal, or a vampire, repeats all the Best Song nominees. If they cut this category (or at least the songs) that would be a half hour off the runtime. "Falling Slowly" wins — at least he had a fine speech.

10:57 - Stewart hands over his time to Marketa Irglova who was unceremoniously played off the stage before she could speak about her win for "Falling Slowly." A class act by both.

10:59 - Camon Diaz babbles away before presenting the cinematography award to There Will Be Blood. Yay, I got another one right!

11:01 - Dead person montage! My bet is Heath Ledger will end it. It must be odd for the family of people who get no applause. How uncomfortable. They really need to put some film names up with the pics - I don't know who most of these people are.

11:05 - Heath wins the pool and the audience goes silent.

11:09 - Amy Adams explains why film scores matter and it works! In fact it showed why the song category doesn't. Can you tell I don't like the songs. Atonement wins, and my ballot is picking up.

11:12 - Various soldiers, live from Baghdad, present the Documentary Short Film nominees. See, Hollywood supports the troops!

11:18 - Perhaps it was to balance out the win by Taxi To The Dark Side. The most political speech of the night. "Let's turn away from the dark side and into the light."

11:23 - Harrison Ford is back from the dead! Oh wait, he just looks like that. I'm so worried about the next Indiana Jones flick. If it turns out ok they should win an Oscar for best effects.

11:25 - Diablo Cody, the hottest writer in Hollywood, wins Best Original Screenplay for Juno. It's a great moment — she's an ex-stripper, this is her first screenplay (at least her first made into a movie) and it is for the feel good film of the night.

11:31 - We are now officially into overtime. Of course that was the easiest pick of the night.

11:34 - Daniel Day Lewis wins Best Actor for There Will Be Blood — one of the only sure picks of the night. He's so gracious.

11:36 - What have they done with Stewart? He hasn't had any screen time for ages and I didn't notice until now. This show really doesn't need a host and Stewart's talents are wasted here. He's watered down and benign, with out his sidekicks to bounce off. If they ask you again, say no.

11:43 - The Coen Brothers win Best Director for No Country For Old Men. These guys just love making movies. They'd best not go to far, they will have to make another of their short speeches in a few minutes.

11:46 - No Country For Old Men wins for Best Picture. We went to see it at the Toronto film festival this year and I'm glad we did as it was one of the only nominated films we got to see this year. It was a cold, cold film about the evil that men do, but virtuoso film making and well deserved.

11:49 - So I got 15/24 right, a pass, but not much of one. I nailed Picture, Director, Actor, Supporting Actor and Actress and the writing categories but fell apart on the more technical awards. It may have helped if I'd seen more films, but a 16-month-old makes that hard. Ah well.

So a generally unexciting show made more so by showing all the exciting moments of the past 80 years.

Oscar Pool 101

Predicting the Oscars is not that hard, but winning an Oscar pool is almost as difficult as getting one of this little golden men. I may not be able to get you to the top, but follow this advice and I will at least bring you into striking distance.


1. Read those who know

I don't have any special insider knowledge or Academy clairvoyance, but I read people who seem to. First stop for anyone filling out their ballot should be Entertainment Weekly. They predict every category, down to the two sound categories, with surprising accuracy. Yup, there are two sound categories and winning them will help you rise to the top.

Next stop, Film Experience. Nathaniel has a unerring sense of what is going to win and also what is going to be nominated in the first place. His perspective is that of a true film fanatic who is able to look past who he would like to win to who actually will. While neither source is infallible, in the long run you can't beat their track records.

There are a few other sites that can help you through your choices (Awards Daily; The Envelope; Oscar Frenzy) but you can drive yourself crazy trying to keep up with it all.

2. Know what has come before

Academy voters usually belong to another Hollywood group that, more likely than not, has their own award show that precedes the Oscars. These are the folks that get ballots so knowing how they voted will give you a pretty good idea of how the night will progress.

Screen Actors Guild Awards

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role
Daniel Day-Lewis – There Will Be Blood

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role
Julie Christie – Away From Her

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role
Javier Bardem – No Country For Old Men

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role
Ruby Dee – American Gangster

Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture
No Country For Old Men

Writers Guild of America

Original Screenplay
Juno, Written by Diablo Cody

Adapted Screenplay
No Country For Old Men, Screenplay by Ethan Coen & Joel Coen, Based on the Novel by Cormac McCarthy

Directors Guild of America

Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Feature Film
Joel Coen & Ethan Coen - No Country for Old Men

Producers Guild of America

Darryl F. Zanuck Producer of the Year Award in Theatrical Motion Pictures
No Country for Old Men

3. Know the odds

You can read the critics lists but realistically they don't really come into play on this night. The critics will pick what they believe is the best film or performance of the lot — which is at it should be — but should win doesn't matter. So go the guys who are in it to win: the Las Vegas Oscar odds.

Pretty much all the online bookmakers are putting out odds, as do the casinos. Here's the line from Bodog on best picture — you can read the rest here.

Odds On: Which film will win the 80th Annual Academy (Oscar) Award for Best Picture?

Atonement: 6/1
Juno : 13/2
Michael Clayton: 25/1
No Country for Old Men: 4/11
There Will Be Blood: 11/2

4. Ignore all the above

Every year there is an unexpected winner that nobody sees coming. So take a chance on a long shot to get an edge over the competition. But you should mostly copy EW. I'll let you know how it worked for me.

Grammys: Creaky Legends of Rock

I hate that my generation is in positions of creative control these days. Tonight's Grammys featured the unheralded reunion of The Time. Wha? Remember them? They were the bad guys in Purple Rain and had a couple of minor hits. That was it. (And wasn't having Morris Day hit on Rihanna creepy? There is a 30-year age gap there.)

And Cyndi Lauper presented the Best New Artist award as they highlighted the fact that she won the category back in 1985. She didn't sing, but still. My peers have already helped an '80s revival last longer than the '80s — I hope this isn't the start of another one.

Of course my contemporaries have nothing on the boomers, who still haven't taken their clammy hands off the reins yet — witness the performances of Aretha Franklin, John Fogerty and a much face-lifted Tina Turner. She's 68 for god's sake and looked like she was going to bust something off up on stage. She must have the same surgeon as Little Richard. Nice to see The Beatles get some recognition after all these years. Poor lads have never really gotten their due.

But while the show wallowed (celebrated?) it's 50 years, there was some concession that new music is still being made, with Amy Winhouse (who admittedly has a retro sound) being one of the biggest winners of the night. Nice to see, despite looking like she was dying to climb into a bottle after her fabulous performance (and beating out Feist for Best New Artist). I hope she manages to pull herself together as I'd like to see what comes next.

I thought of live-blogging this too late (plus the show is way too damn long and I work too early) but there are many fine places to get all caught up. May I suggest Inside the Box and The Ampersand was a dash of Dose for the best moments of the night.

Golden Turd: Live Blogging the Globes

No red carpet, no stars, no speeches, monologues or interpretive dances. Can it even be called an awards show? It’s time for the writers strike version of the 2008 Golden Globes:

9:01 - A nice fade to black photo of a previous award ceremony with the explanation of why the glitzy show was cancelled.

9:02 – On to the supporting actress category just like a regular show. Isn’t this supposed to be a press conference? I’ve been to press conferences and they don’t look like this.

9:04 – Cate Blanchett wins for her portrayal of Dylan. And there is no applause, nothing. The hosts are just yammer on like low-rent Mary Hart clones. Wow, this is so terrible.

9:06 – They are just flying through the categories. Already I regret all my bad mouthing of the previous over-the-top ceremonies. I had no idea it could be so much worse.

9:10 – Jamie Pressly doesn’t win for Best Supporting TV Actress. Too bad, she such a lunatic on My Name is Earl.

9:14 – Ah, even the hosts Billy Bush and Nancy O'Dell are calling it a special, not a press conference. I wonder if the Writers Guild would have picketed this if they had known? Does Billy Bush really count as a news reporter? NBC should be ashamed. (Update: Seems that the press conference was a separate event and this was a news special reporting on it. What were they thinking?)

9:16 – Ratatouille beats out The Simpsons Movie for best animated film. That’s what you get when you wait 19 years to come out with a film that should have been made more than a decade ago.

9:19 – What is La Vie en Rose? Isn’t that a lingerie shop? Anyway, Marion Cotillard wins and so much for Ellen Page's vaunted great Canadian breakout. Not to say that she hasn’t broken out, she just won’t have to worry about trying to capitalize on a Globes win during a writers strike.

9:24 – On to some bigger movie awards. Javier Bardem wins for No Country For Old Men – good call. He should win the Oscar too. Why are they following that with trivia tidbits? Are the researchers all on strike too? All you need to "host" these days is a toothy smile and a fast connection to the Internet Movie Database.

9:31 – Look at that, we’re halfway done. A regular show would have presented two awards at best so far. Still a terrible experience though.

9:25 – Billy Bush dumps on the Coen brothers, for no particular reason: "For a Coen Brothers film, people are actually going to see it."

9:32 – David Duchovny wins for a TV comedy. I remember that guy. I wonder if they really are going to make a second X-Files film?

9:35 – Ricky Gervais’ show Extras wins for Best TV Comedy. Expect to see it remade in weeks and aired on the network that throws the most money at all of those pre-written scripts.

9:37 – Tina Fey wins for 30 Rock. Well-deserved, she’s hilarious. Are people really not watching this show? What is wrong with you? Go rent or download it, now!

9:43 – The Coen brothers lose out for Best Director and Billy Bush continues his hate-on for him. What is going on there? Did they snub him on a red carpet or turn him down at a casting call?

9:45 – The coolest man on earth wins for Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy. My first regret of the night – I would have loved to see Johnny Depp accept for Sweeny Todd.

9:47 – Sweeny Todd wins for Best Musical or Comedy. Wow, that make them a real Oscar contender. I really need to get out of the house and see that…

9:52 – Its funny, with all the awards appearing equal in this format, the TV winners aren’t getting buried on the show, as usual. And Mad Men wins – does anyone reading this even get AMC?

9:54 – They show a clip of Angelina Jolie swimming in a see-through gown. It’s the best they will be able to do all night, which, thankfully, is almost over.

9:55 – Julie Christie wins for Away From Her, Sarah Polley’s full-length directorial debut. Go Canadian content!

9:57 – Daniel Day-Lewis wins for Best Actor in a Drama. Of course you could have looked this up on the Globes site an hour ago.

9:59 – Atonement wins for Best Drama and the show wraps it up with some pointless banter and we’re out. Seems letting a news organization run the show makes sure it is finished on time. Though what that hour-long debacle had to do with news is beyond me.

10:02 – I spent more time in the bathroom with the stomach flu the other week than this show took to air, and had more fun too. The producers of the Oscars must be terrified right now.

Shut It Down: Hollywood’s a Union Town

What if they held an awards show and nobody came? We won’t have to wonder for long as Sunday’s Golden Globe awards ceremony has been reduced to a mere press conference by the ongoing writers strike.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s annual love in is the latest and largest casualty in the ongoing labour dispute between the Writers Guild of America and Hollywood producers over residuals.

The writing, so to speak, had been on the wall for the bloated mutual masturbation for weeks, as the WGA promised to picket the red carpet and the Screen Actors Guild said its members were loathe to play strikebreakers in their frocks and tuxes. So the Hollywood Foreign Press pulled the plug on the ceremony and plans to have the winners announced by news presenters. The WGA still plans to picket and nobody will collect the awards, make speeches or show up. Whee!

I say good riddance. The HFPA, made up of 90 or so freelancers that may or may not actively cover the entertainment industry, has about as much editorial heft as your average Facebook group. But somehow their trophy has been embraced by studio publicists and agents and grown into a bloated beast that purports to be a beacon of taste and talent.

Out of touch? Full of itself? What a perfect target for the guild to take down. Watch out Oscar, you’re next.

An Rx for Oscar

Suppose they held the Oscars and nobody came? While that isn’t likely to happen anytime soon, if the show carries on being such an anti-climactic snoozefest people will continue to tune out and I’d rather not see that happen. We need to have common cultural experiences and film is a powerful medium to rally around, especially as the Academy Awards are opening up to more international filmmakers and stories. Hollywood has been exporting to the world for decades and we’re now seeing the results.

But even while Oscar is opening its golden arms to a diverse range of movies, the telecast itself is falling behind the times. As an industry that is geared towards entertaining and getting big bang for the buck, how is it that the telecast is so tedious? Sure, the show is self-congratulatory, but I expect that. As an award show put on by the some of the most privileged, navel-gazers on earth, it’s bound to be.

What needs to go are some of the technical categories – sound editing and mixing, art direction and makeup. The typical movie fan can judge the rest of the categories, but those four should be moved to the technical awards. They will still get Oscars for them, just not in the televised part. I’d also like to see the original song category dropped altogether – so often these songs are played over the closing credits and add nothing to the film. They are also pure torture in the middle of a show that is already too long.

The Academy should also move up the date of the show again to try and cut the legs out of all the other shows that have cropped up over the years. Something needs to be done to make the awards not seem like a foregone conclusion. Other than Alan Arkin taking the best supporting actor Oscar, the other five top categories were locked in weeks — if not months — ago. It hardly makes for compelling TV.

Despite all that, there were still some things to love about the show. Forest Whitaker’s heartfelt love of the craft; Jack Black threatening to beat Peter O’ Toole with his Nickelodeon award; host Ellen DeGeneres getting Steven Spielberg to take her photo with Clint Eastwood using her point ‘n’ shoot digital. And, of course, it was great to see Martin Scorsese finally get the Oscar that he so desperately wanted, even if it wasn’t for his best work – but that’s a whole other rant.

So You Want to Win an Oscar (Pool)

Head here for 2008's version of
winning an Oscar Pool.

Despite what the media is trying to tell you, the Oscars are likely to be a dull affair, at least in terms of the mystery of who the big winners will be. The top categories have been set for weeks, with big wins at the Golden Globes, Screen Actors Guild awards, BAFTAs and all the other guilds and associations. But there is a vested interest in making people believe there could be an upset, otherwise why would anyone watch or read all the lead up?

Of course I will be watching and needed to fill out my ballot for the party. So I’ve decided to share my process, for what it’s worth. The two best places for top-notch Oscar picks are Film Experience – which has the best in-depth analysis of how the votes will go – and Entertainment Weekly, which has an unerring ability to pick the winners. I’ve also checked in on Roger Ebert’s picks and the latest Las Vegas odds on the show. All are below, with quotes and my picks at the end. Share and enjoy!

Best Picture
Film Experience: The Departed
“on account of its solid performance in each quadrant of success: box office + critics + media support + precursors.”
Entertainment Weekly: The Departed
Vegas Odds: The Departed (Odds: 5-2)
Roger Ebert: Babel
Me: The Departed
“I haven’t had a chance to see Iwo Jima and The Queen doesn’t interest me in the latest, so of the other three I’m going with The Departed. Sunshine was fun and I’d chose Babel to win, but this feels like Scorsese’s year.

Director
FE: Martin Scorsese
EW: Martin Scorsese
“Whatever happens in Best Picture, this one is in the bag.”
Vegas: Martin Scorsese (Odds: 5-1)
Ebert: Martin Scorsese
Me: Martin Scorsese
“Looks like the Academy is going to make up for years of snubs, both picture and director with this one, even though it wasn’t his best. ‘Tis the way of Oscar.

Actor
FE: Forest Whitaker
Forest Whitaker's long lead will pay off on Oscar night.
EW: Forest Whitaker
Vegas: Forest Whitaker (Odds: 2-5)
“Run Forest Run! It looks like Whitaker can start walking now with the lead he has built.”
Ebert: Forest Whitaker
“Oscar voters love it when actors remove themselves from the typecasting game and play a totally original character.”
Me: Forest Whitaker
“A great transformation – Whitaker always loses himself in the role and this was no exception.”

Actress
FE: Helen Mirren
Exactly as expected by everyone and their mother and their friends and their dog and their dogs fleas.
EW: Helen Mirren
Vegas: Helen Mirren (Odds: 1-15)
“With all due respect to the other nominees, I just can't see Helen on the canvas”
Ebert: Helen Mirren
Me: Helen Mirren
“The only mystery here is why anyone would write down another name on their ballot.”

Supporting Actor
FE: Eddie Murphy
EW: Eddie Murphy
Vegas: Eddie Murphy (Odds: 4-5)
Ebert: Eddie Murphy
“It would be an upset if anyone else wins this category.”
Me: Eddie Murphy
“Who am I to argue with such prognostication?”

Supporting Actress
FE: Jennifer Hudson
EW: Jennifer Hudson
Vegas: Jennifer Hudson (Odds: 3-5)
“I still believe Jennifer is going to grab a victory, but if there is a surprise in the four top acting categories, it's this one.”
Ebert: Jennifer Hudson
“Hudson's story is the kind beloved by movie audiences”
Me: Jennifer Hudson
“See above – these categories have been set in stone.”

Original Screenply
FE: Little Miss Sunshine
EW: Little Miss Sunshine
Ebert: Babel
“The academy will honor "Babel," not only because of its complex achievement, but also because of the thought and care that went into it.”
Me: Little Miss Sunshine
“After all the talk of Little Miss Sunshine being the Best Picture dark horse, this will be the consolation prize.”

Adapted Screenplay
FE: The Departed
EW: The Departed
“Monahans fast-paced, talky script touches every base: suspense, intrigue and unexpected humour.”
Me: The Departed

Foreign Film
FE: Lives of Others
EW: Pan’s Labyrinth
Ebert: Pan’s Labyrinth
"Pan's Labyrinth" is fresh and innovative, and was rumored to be in the running for a best picture nomination. It is the one to beat.”
Me: Pan’s Labyrinth
“I would like to say Water, but opinion is leaning heavily to Pan’s Labyrinth, so I will too.”

Animated Film
FE: Cars
EW: Cars
“People love penguins. But probably not enough for Happy Feet to outpace the actor-friendly Cars.
Ebert: Cars
Me: Cars
“Never bet against Pixar.”

Documentary Feature
FE: An Inconvenient Truth
EW: An Inconvenient Truth
Ebert: An Inconvenient Truth
“I have only once in my almost 40 years as a film critic written these words: "You owe it to yourself to see this film." That was the power of Al Gore's movie about global warming.”
Me: An Inconvenient Truth
“Hollywood can’t say no to an issue, and they still feel bad that Al isn’t President, so they’ll give him the best thing they have.”

Cinematography
FE: Children of Men
EW: Children of Men
“Everyone who sees Children of Men comes out raving about those tracking shots, it will probably win.”
Me: Children of Men

Art Direction
FE: Pan's Labyinrth
EW: Dreamgirls
“Dreamgirls eye-popping stage sequences and meticulous ‘60s re-creations will take the prize.”
Me: Pan's Labyinrth

Costume Design
FE: Dreamgirls
“I’m predicting Dreamgirls by a hair or maybe a sequin. Voters do prefer musicals in this category.”
EW: Marie Antoinette
Me: Marie Antoinette

Editing
FE: Babel
EW: United 93
“The showier United has the edge.”
Me: Babel

Score
FE: Pan's Labyinrth
EW: The Queen
“So give this prize to The Queen’s Alexandre Desplat.”
Me: The Queen

Sound Mixing
FE: Dreamgirls
EW: Dreamgirls
“The Academy often goes for music-oriented films. So stay tuned for a Dreamgirls win.”
Me: Dreamgirls

Sound Editing
FE: Pirates 2
“I’m thinking this goes to Pirates of the Caribbean with ease. The winner of this category is usually big, loud, and actioney”
EW: Pirates 2
Me: Pirates 2

Song
FE: I Need to Wake Up – Inconvenient Truth
“I’ve always loved Melissa Etheridge and I think her power anthem “I Need To Wake Up” is a terrific straightforward match for the movie that houses it”
EW: Listen - Dreamgirls
Me: Listen - Dreamgirls

Visual FX
FE: Pirates 2
EW: Pirates 2
“Yo, ho, ho there’s no contest here.”
Me: Pirates 2

Make Up
FE: Pan's Labyrinth
“Pan's Labyrinth had stunning makeup effects. And they LOVE prosthetics when it comes to this prize.”
EW: Pan’s Labyrinth
Me: Pan's Labyrinth
Animated Short
FE: The Little Match Girl
EW: The Little Match Girl
Me: The Little Match Girl

Live Action Short
FE: Binta & The Great Idea
EW: Eramos Pocos
Me: Eramos Pocos

Documentary Short
FE: Blood of Yingzhou District
EW: Two Hands
Me: Recycled Life
“Because I need to go out on my own on something.”

And the winner is… the Oscars!

Amid the talk of multiple nominations, snubs and triumphs one thing becomes clear. The big winner is the Academy Awards themselves, judging by the multiple thousands of articles I see on Google, which will soon be followed by thousands more: in-depth profiles of the nominees, photo galleries, retrospectives, quizzes, contests, office pools, printable ballots, party planning and the like. It’s a marketers dream – the product is part of mass culture and yet the Academy retains control. Everyone writes Oscar with a capital, don’t they?

Once the nominations are announced the frenzy truly begins, with the anointed making the media and party rounds, schmoozing for votes. At this point, it’s business – because an Oscar win can add millions at the box office and in DVD sales. A quick look at Toronto showtimes and I see listings for Babel, Letters from Iwo Jima, The Queen, The Pursuit of Happyness, Dreamgirls, Pan's Labyrinth, Blood Diamond, Notes on a Scandal, Children of Men, Happy Feet, The Good Shepherd, Apocalypto and even Borat. For the best of 2006, there sure are a lot of them still around in 2007. It’s like they knew somehow. As for the other major nominees, Little Miss Sunshine and The Devil Wears Prada are already out on DVD and The Departed and Borat arrive next month, before the red carpet is rolled out.

If you’re unconvinced it’s all about the bottom line, consider this fact from Variety: “Over the past five years, the winners of the top two Globe kudos -- drama and comedy/musical -- have made $91 million between Globes night and Oscar night.” And that’s just the Golden Globe winners. Imagine what that little golden man can do for your movie. Watch for jumps for most of the nominees this weekend as people head to theatres to see what all the fuss is about, or to fill in their gaps before filling out their Oscar pool sheets. But I’m not complaining. I know I’m being sold to and I’m on board with it – it beats memorizing sports stats.

As for the nominees themselves, I have no opinion as I have only seen three of the films listed, my worst showing in years. I would feel worse about this except for the fact the vast majority were released just before or soon after the birth of my son, and while he’s ok to tote around to parties, screenings are not as welcoming. But I contend this will not stop my from winning my Oscar pool and defeating my arch-rival (she knows who she is!) Having seen most of the films can often be a detriment, as you tend to make artistic judgments and that always hurts you.

To win your pool, all you need to do is the following three things:

1. Read Entertainment Weekly’s Oscar issue a couple of days before the ceremony.
2. Read Film Experience daily – Nathaniel is an unfailing good predictor and fount of Oscar knowledge. (participants in my Oscar pool are not to click on this link)
3. Remember, it’s show BUSINESS.

It's Craptacular!

The nominations are out and Sharon Stone, Shawn and Marlon Wayans, Hilary and Haylie Duff, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, Rob Schneider Carmen Electra and Tim Allen have all received nods in major categories. While it may seem like an Oscar fever dream, it’s the annual Razzie Awards for the worst in film.

Seems a criminal pretending to be a tiny baby in order to hide from the cops (and ripping off Bugs Bunny in the process) is just the kind of cinematic brilliance that will get you a shot at a gold spray-painted golf-ball-size berry sitting atop a mangled reel of film. With nominations for worst picture, actor, director and four other categories, it’s bound to go home an, um, winner.

Another natural shoe-in for Worst Picture of the year was Sharon Stone’s ill-conceived role in Basic Instinct 2. Much in the way that studios and actors make prestige movies to court Academy Awards, I can only assume that Stone was hoping to walk down the Golden Raspberry’s red carpet. There can’t be any other explanation for that film.

What I love about the Razzies is you can become a voting member, which makes it more interesting than the People’s Choice Awards and with over 700 members, more legitimate than the Golden Globes. The final ballots aren’t being mailed out until next Tuesday, so there’s still time to get in on the action. My cheque is in the Paypal.

Shriveled Golden Globes

I’m not a huge fan of awards shows, but for a number of years it was part of my job to watch ‘em (ya, I know, boo hoo). Anyway, it’s given me some perspective on them and they really aren’t the same without all the lead up. Take, for example, tonight’s Golden Globes. You’d think that having no host, no lengthy montage and no celebs strolling the red carpet being asked vapid questions about wardrobe would be a good thing, but it also means there is no sense of grandeur. If the producers think that people are tuning in for the speeches, they are sorely mistaken. Of course nobody’s watching, seeing as they scheduled the Globes show against 24 for some reason. So, I’m watching it for you.

8:00 – The logo runs, they flash to the stage and George Clooney stroll to the mic and reads off the nominees for Best Actress in a Comedy and Musical – and Jennifer Hudson wins for Dreamgirls, further cementing American Idol’s hold on popular culture. Hudson then stumbles out of the already seated glitterati and yammers on about something or other.

They quickly move on to the horrible songs award. Prince wins (oh great, he’s the new Phil Colins) but isn’t there. Presenter Justin Timberlake accepts on his behalf by pulling out a Dorf on Golf joke and pretending to be a foot or two shorter. Prince would have kicked his ass. By 8:07 they’ve presented two awards and are out to commercial. Yeesh, what’s the rush?

8:15ish – Jack Nicholson is looking more crazed than ever – fly-away hair and crazed eyes behind his ever-present dark glasses. They are looking more like seniors blueblockers than badass, but he’s still the star the other stars pay their respects to.

8:20? – Everyone who was nominated in the TV or mini-series category must have been so excited until they saw Jeremy Irons nominated. I mean really, how unfair is that?

Sometime that I didn’t look at the clock – Rene Zellwegger comes out and leads the salute to the Hollywood Foreign Press. Seeing as it is their show and the membership could fit in my house, it seems altogether too self-congratulatory. Who knew Rene needed the work?

8:30ish – “The excitement keeps coming,” says talking dress Maria Menounos – she must be watching another show as exciting doesn’t come into this one.

8:45 – Jack gets some more screen-time as the go-to reaction shot.

8:46 – Meryl Streep cements her lock on the Oscar Best Actress award with her Globe win for The Devil Wears Prada. She has a speech prepared – how did she know?

8:48 – Streep’s shout-out to all the losers makes for a wonderful montage of them all trying to look happy. Funny.

9:01 – Eddie Murphy wins for his Dreamgirls roll – this ought to make for a funny speech.

9:02 – Nope, he’s not funny anymore, just like his movies.

9:08 – Jack sighting. Again.

9:15 – Announcer says the party is just getting warmed up, which means the stars are getting loaded. I hope so, this show has been event and comedy free.

9:17 – A dark-haired Cameron Diaz presents something or other and the camera doesn’t pan to a reaction shot of her very-recent ex, Justin Timberlake. Nor did they when he was on stage. What’s with the restraint, Globes? Where’s the live gossip?

9:22 – The toughest category of the night is Best Actor in a TV Comedy: Alec Baldwin (30 Rock), Zach Braff (Scrubs), Steve Carell (The Office) and Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl). The much-deserving Baldwin takes it, but turns out not to be off-the-cuff funny. Tina Fey, please write him an acceptance speech next time.

9:31 – Ugly Betty wins and the whole table erupts, freaks out and a party breaks out on stage. It’s nice to see some real excitement about winning at least.

9:38 – Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood are nominated for best Foreign Language film. I don’t think that was the idea of the category when it was started. Whatever, Clint wins. Is there anything he can’t do?

9:40 – There is one thing Clint can’t do – wear a bow tie. He looks like Orville Redenbacher.

9:46 – A man who knows from mistakes, Hugh Grant apologizes for Justin Timberlake’s short about Prince. His Purpleness was apparently stuck in traffic and missed his award in the first seven minutes the show. Is this the beginning of a feud and the end of Timberlake’s career as a black man?

9:50 – America Ferrara wins for Ugly Betty. That’s gonna be one helluva an after-party.

9:53 – Menounos sucks all the life out of Ferrara’s win by pointing out she wasn’t the first choice to play Betty.

9:58 – The show crawls to a halt – more so – as the honourary award and Warren Beatty are wheeled out.

10:07 – Tom Hanks, trying to save a bad Beatty/sex joke, claims to have slept with the legendary lothario. Here’s hoping someone reports this as truth in Wikipedia.

10:11 – Even Beatty bows down before Jack.

10:15 – Still talking, Beatty makes a Borat joke. It bombs.

10: 17 – Beatty finally shuts up and the longest part of the show is sucked up by an award we already knew the winner of. Now they’ll have to speed through the rest.

10:24 – Martin Scorsese wins Best Director for The Departed either making him the Oscar-fave or setting him up for an even further fall.

10:26 – Guess who! It’s Jack!

10:28 - Sacha Baron Cohen wins for Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan and, in a surprisingly out-of-character speech, talks about anuses and testicles, referring them to as shriveled Golden Globes. Finally, this is what this show is supposed to be about. Despite that, they play him off. Beatty used up everyone else’s spare time.

10:37 – Dreamgirls wins for Best Musical or Comedy, making it the big winner of the night.

10:43 – You can now check off Helen Mirren for Best Actress in your Oscar pool. Consider her the freebie that everyone gets.

10:53 – Forest Whitaker’s win for The Last King of Scotland means the key to winning your Oscar pool is getting the tech categories correct.

11:00 – Alec Baldwin rolls his eyes as Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger crutches his way to the mic to present the last award. Babel wins, keeping its Oscar hopes alive because, let’s face it, that’s what this show is really all about.

11:02 – “I swear I have my papers, Governor,” says Babel director Alejandro Iñárritu.

11:04 – The winners are hurried off stage and it’s on to the predictable Oscars. How dull.

Born to Runner-up

The votes have been tallied and the results are in and Popped Culture has come in second in the Best Entertainment Blog category of the Canadian Blog Awards.

I would like to thank my many, many friends who annoyed their friends, coworkers and complete strangers to cast a vote for me. It was a valiant effort, but the winner – Bookninja – crushed me by 16 votes and so my congratulations goes out to them for their victory and their stealthy ability to kill people with literature. A tip of the hat as well to my worthy competitors: oRadio, Bow. James Bow and SHZine.

I take solace in the fact that even the mighty Lisa Simpson discovered she can’t be first all the time. (You can always find an appropriate Simpsons reference.)

Lisa: Hey, I am above average! So what if Alison's ahead of me? There's no shame in being second.

Announcer: And now, Avis Rent-A-Car is proud to present the second best band in America. Will you welcome Garfunkel, Messina, Oates, and Lisa singing their number two hit, "Born to Runner-up". [Audience boos]

Lisa: Why would they come to our concert just to boo us?

I’d also like to congratulate Amber Mac for the second place finish in the Best Best Sci/Tech Blog category, My Dinner Table for placing third in Best Activities and CBC Radio 3 and Inside the CBC for the two/three finish in the Media category. Lastly, I’d like to thank Robert McClelland for putting together the awards and introducing me to so many new and interesting blogs.

Thanks everyone, we’ll try again next year. (Yeesh, acceptance speeches are tedious, aren’t they?)

It's the Final Countdown

It's down to the final day of voting for the Canadian Blog Awards and Popped Culture is in a tight, three-way battle for the title of Best Entertainment Blog, thanks to your votes and proselytizing on my behalf. The award comes with 10,000 acres of beachfront on a remote Pacific Island with a mansion so covered in gold leaf, Donald Trump would be speechless with envy. When I win this coveted award, you will all be given two exclusive weeks to relax there.*

All you need to do is cast your vote today and I will stop writing these increasingly annoying posts. Doesn't he have a newborn, you many ask? A job? A life? All perfectly valid questions, but entirely beside the point. So help me help me.

Tristan is voting for me, won't you?

(* Pledges will not be honoured)

You Like Me, You Really Like Me!

I’d like to thank my agent, my lawyers, God (in that order), and all the little people who helped me get where I am today. Oh, I told myself I wouldn’t cry. Hey, don’t play me off!

Ok, that may be a touch premature, but I have been nominated for Best Entertainment Blog over at the Canadian Blog Awards. What fun! I of course only got into this blogging thing to feed my raging ego and to accumulate wealth, fame and everything else that comes with getting millions of hits a day. Ask me how that’s working out…

Nonetheless, I do appreciate the nod and glad that someone out there likes what I do. If anything it means I will be exposed to a few new good blogs that I’ve never seen before. If you feel like voting for me (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that part) I won’t say no, but don’t feel obligated or anything. Ok, I'm begging.

There are also a few of my friends nominated, so check them out as they are all worth reading (and voting for):

• Scandal Sheet – The nastiest celeb gossip wrap-up around. Wonderfully catty.
• Nik at Nite – Pop culture insight, bar none. Better than Lost itself.
• My Dinner Table – The mouthwatering site of a dedicated foodie, from gourmet to street meat.
• Menard Communications – Opinionated, mouthy, sarcastic and idealistic all at the same time.
• Amber Mac – The Geek Goddess, the Queen of Web 2.0.

Yet Another Oscar Montage

I blame myself of course. Every year I mess up on my Oscar picks by choosing what I want to win (this year it was Paradise Now over Tsotsi) or not going with my gut (choosing Brokeback Mountain over Crash. I even blogged on Saturday that I was going to pick Crash. Oh why don’t I listen to me?)

That being said, I did quite well and won my Oscar pool — edging out my pop culture rival and my wife who is always a dark horse — getting 18 of 24 categories correct. Hey, 75% is not too shabby, it’s how I got through school.

But enough of my self-congratulation — that’s Hollywood’s job. It was actually a good show, as award shows go. My greatest worry was that Jon Stewart would tank but, bless him, he was the best part of the night. He skewered left and right, Russell Crowe and did what he could to puncture some of the evening’s pomposity. There really wasn’t a chance he was going to go Crossfire on the broadcast, so I’m happy with what we got. Now hope for a jump in ratings for the Daily Show and don’t take the gig again.

There really wasn’t much else to be shocked or surprised about. Touchy-feely E! host Issac Mizrahi kept his hands too himself, and nobody but Jack Nicholson appeared all that drunk. We had to wonder how pissed off Matt Dillon was being sat behind Charlize Theron’s humongous bow and there was a quick audience shot of Andy Rooney who now looks like Darth Vader when he isn’t wearing his helmet. Shudder.

And why does the Academy feel the need to rush people off the stage in 30 to 60 seconds on likely the biggest night of the lives, but has plenty of time for montages, clip tributes and full song performances/interpretive dances?

For a longer, snarkier, blow-by-blow recap of the night, check out What Would Tyler Durden Do and Defamer. It’s why they get the big numbers.