It's Craptacular!

The nominations are out and Sharon Stone, Shawn and Marlon Wayans, Hilary and Haylie Duff, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, Rob Schneider Carmen Electra and Tim Allen have all received nods in major categories. While it may seem like an Oscar fever dream, it’s the annual Razzie Awards for the worst in film.

Seems a criminal pretending to be a tiny baby in order to hide from the cops (and ripping off Bugs Bunny in the process) is just the kind of cinematic brilliance that will get you a shot at a gold spray-painted golf-ball-size berry sitting atop a mangled reel of film. With nominations for worst picture, actor, director and four other categories, it’s bound to go home an, um, winner.

Another natural shoe-in for Worst Picture of the year was Sharon Stone’s ill-conceived role in Basic Instinct 2. Much in the way that studios and actors make prestige movies to court Academy Awards, I can only assume that Stone was hoping to walk down the Golden Raspberry’s red carpet. There can’t be any other explanation for that film.

What I love about the Razzies is you can become a voting member, which makes it more interesting than the People’s Choice Awards and with over 700 members, more legitimate than the Golden Globes. The final ballots aren’t being mailed out until next Tuesday, so there’s still time to get in on the action. My cheque is in the Paypal.

I Spy With My Little Eye, Somthing That is Gold

We're into the finals of the film awards. The Oscar nominations will be announced tomorrow morning (or already have been, depending on when you are reading this.)

I don't figure there will be many surprises as the races have narrowed considerably. Brokeback Mountain wins for Best Picture and Director, Philip Seymour Hoffman takes Best Actor for Capote, Resse Witherspoon is named Best Actress for Walk the Line, Rachel Weisz takes Supporting Actress for The Constant Gardner and everyone's favourite everyman Paul Giamatti wraps up Supporting Actor for Cinderella Man.

Ooops, I got ahead of myself. We're only looking at the nominations aren't we? Anyway, the one thing I've been happy to see is the rise of Crash during awards season, with an ensemble win at the Screen Actors Guild Awards on Sunday. Of course it's far too late. I think the Academy should hire Mark Burnett to produce the show so he can, much like on Survivor, make us believe there is a chance some else will be voted off (or win in this case) other than the clear frontrunner. In other words, we need it to look like a race before they had Ang Lee his armful of statues.

Now with the good awards comes the so bad its good awards. The Golden Raspberry nominations were announced today, celebrating the worst in film. Son of the Mask led the way, but seriously, we knew that without watching. I was glad to see the pointless big screen version of the Dukes of Hazzard slapped and going after anything Paris Hilton makes (in this case House of Wax) is a good thing. Makes me wonder how she did at the Adult Video News Awards with her last release.

But once again I digress. What annoyed me about this year's awards was the inclusion of a new category, Most Tiresome Tabloid Targets. Wha? Come on Razzies, were you not getting enough attention that you needed to shoot some fish in a barrel? Tom Cruise couch jumping jokes? That's so old. Last year Halle Berry actually showed up to accept her award, so stick to smacking down bad acting and leave the celebs to the tabs. On the up side, you can vote if you want to. Just $25 lets you in on the fun.