Dead Show Walking: Prison Break

After four seasons, Fox is finally sending Prison Break to death row. "It just got down to the point where a lot of stories have been told," the network's entertainment president, Kevin Reilly, told the assembled TV critics and bloggers at the Television Critics Association press tour.

No kidding. Michael Scofield and his degenerate band of escaped convicts, fallen lawmen, turncoat assassins, drug addicts, murders and rapists have been in and out of prison, double and triple-crossed, shot and maimed more times than I can remember and yet they are still trying to finish "just one more thing."

The show was great in the beginning as Scofield (Wentworh Miller), a brilliant engineer got himself arrested to break his framed, lowlife brother Lincoln Burrows out of jail, with an elaborate body tattoo to guide his way. Scofield was a force of good thrown into the lion's den, but, over the course of four seasons, broke so many laws and crossed so many boundaries that he became no better than those he brought with him, drained of his morale authority.

The cast of Prison Break was the most depraved, unlikable group of characters assembled on TV since Oz, and I say this as a person who watched every episode. This season, I've just been watching with a morbid desire to see them all get killed. Reilly said the decision to cancel allows the series to end on a high creative note. I can only hope the writers follow though on the trajectory of the show and leaves all the characters dead in unmarked graves. Any happy ending would be a disappointment.

That being I will miss there being someone named T-Bag on network television. I can't believe they got away with that one. There was more good news too — it looks like Fringe will continue and has a coveted slot after American Idol. Wow, usually Fox just destroys everything I love.

Come on Down to Genpop...

I love Prison Break, I heart South Park and I’m nuts for pop culture mashups, so you can imagine how head over heels I was when I came across Give Me My Remote’s recap of last night’s episode. While brief, it makes me laugh and that’s all that really matters to me.

Speaking of which, my favourite bunnies have posted another 30-second reenactment, this time taking on Rocky. Great stuff and fun to see Apollo Creed as a huge rabbit.

One other bit of amusing news today to file under Celebrities Says the Darndest Things. Just days after Michelle Rodriguez blamed her drinking and driving and other bad habits on her reaction to steroids she was taking for her allergies to cockroach resin, she has already been knocked off the throne.

Professional heroin addict and court attendee Pete Doherty, who was arrested on the weekend after pictures surfaced of him apparently shooting up an unconscious woman with heroin, claimed he was actually just drawing blood to paint a picture with. WTF? Damn, he’s good! I never would have thought of that one.

On a related note, why is this guy a star? He dated Kate Moss (and why is she a star?) and was in The Libertines and Babyshambles, and I can’t think of a single from either. Just askin’.

Oh yeah, I’m also guest editing over at Scandal Sheet again for a couple of days, where I am contributing to Doherty infamy. Go figure.

Links to Live By

I’ve spent the day surfing, wondering what to write about. My time wasting is you gain. Here are some of the great things I found on some of my favorite blogs:

• I Watch Stuff site joins the ranks of sites moaning that Daniel Craig doesn’t look like James Bond should, whatever that means. The upside is that I was pointed to new publicity pics of Casino Royale, so my many, many thanks.

• I’ve never been able to write these, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy a good haiku about Munich, found on Film Experience.

• Is Scrubs not long for this TV life? It’s on Child of TV’s list of 21 shows likely to be cancelled this year, on top of what has already been announced as no longer for this world.

• TVGasm gives a great overview of the story and cast of the long-in-hibernation Prison Break. It will be back March 20th and I can't wait. Stupid Fox network. Surprise fact? John Abruzzi was the guy who fed Steve Buscemi into the wood chipper in Fargo.

• Hee, hee – betcha George Clooney used to offer free mustache rides. Thanks to Pop Culture Junkies for digging this up.

• Much love to Population Statistic for pointing out the original Fred & Barney cigarette ad on the Flintstones, courtesy of You Tube (them again!) I love seeing how tobacco used to be imbedded directly into pop culture.

Arrested Development Goes Out Crazy

Bye, bye Bluths. The season and quite likely series finished up last night like they started – fast-paced, quick-witted and outrageous to the end.

It was billed only as the season finale, and Fox hasn’t officially cancelled the comedy, but the chances of the show cheating an early TV death are slim. What seems certain is its time on Fox has come to an end. The network burned off the last four episodes, back-to-back against the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, making room on its usual Monday slot for the inane Skating with Celebrities. Clearly there’s not much love lost.

While there is a glimmer of hope that Arrested Development could be revived on the U.S. cable network Showtime or, even less likely, on ABC, it appears destined to top the list of shows cancelled before its time, including Action, My So Called Life, Andy Richter Controls the Universe, Futurama, Sports Night, among others.

I’m not doing well this season, as the networks keep shelving my favourites. Fox has put Prison Break in solitary confinement for so long I don’t know if I’ll recognize it when it gets out. Invasion is being put on the sidelines during March, just as the tension is building up to a fever pitch – there’s nothing like a month-long break to cool off a hot show. While Commander in Chief has not been must-see TV for me, I watched it whenever I came across it, but now that it is also in purgatory its ratings decline will likely become a self-fulfilling prophecy for the network.

Its not just semi-established shows that are suffering the vagaries of network programmers. Love Monkey, starring Canadians Tom Cavanagh and Jason Priestly, has been caged after just three episodes. I didn’t even get a chance to see it, let alone have time to cast judgment on it. Thee episodes! How do you build an audience in that time? I’d already had one friend tell me to check it out, perhaps indicating that there was word-of-mouth buzz growing, and it was even averaging 8.1 million viewers an episode, almost twice what Arrested was getting this season. There is just no patience anymore.