The Lighting Ceremony

Children from across the nation read their award-winning essays on the meaning of  Ronald McDonald during the National Big Mac lighting ceremony at the White House. The Mac Festival of Lights began Wednesday with the first lighting of the Big M. (Dec. 1)

Critics of the ceremony and promotion of one burger over others pointed to the inordinate influence of the American McDonald's Policy Action Committee and the infiltration of our government by mac firsters.

ADL spokesman Abe Macman was quick to respond calling the charges anti-macitic and urging Congress to pass laws against such hate speech.

"It's an insult to the first 6 million sold," Macman was quoted as saying.

Tribal Magazine Premiers to Rave Reviews

"Who Said the Print Media is Dead?"

Giant zionist media conglomerate says "Lets stop this pussyfooting around and put all of the 'news the tribe can use' in one place."

Free John Hagee video that was banned by youtube, "In Defense of Israel," with each subscription!


Breaking news for subscribers only -

Rahm Characterizes Washington Culture as 'Fucknutsville'









art by David Dees via Rense

Also inside this month's zionst mag - a blast from the past ...

Barack Obama: "America's First Jewish President"

According to a nationally prominent Zionist spokesperson, former Congressman, Federal Judge, White House Counsel to President Bill Clinton and early backer of Obama, Abner Mikvner, “Barack Obama is the first Jewish President.” Mikvner’s affirmation reflects both Obama’s one-sided and longstanding commitment to the State of Israel and loyalty to the Zionist Power Configuration (ZPC) in the United States, as well as the long-term and successful effort of a network of financially and politically powerful Jewish Zionists to ‘embed’ Obama to their ‘Israel First’ political apparatus.

Plus a special feature - 'Rahm's Private Instructions to the Staff' which includes ...

Hillary Clinton Refuses to Answer Questions About Gaza Flotilla

Robert Gibbs says "No face-to-face summit talks between Ahmadinejad and Barry."

And ... AIPAC and ADL rate each member of Congress on how they are advancing "The Protocols."

                        Joe Lieberman tops the scorecard and urges others to follow his lead.

With in depth fashion tips ...

Next month ...

"How Israel Gets the U.S. to Fight Wars For Them"

and if applicable - "How's That War With Iran Going?"

World War Z

Brad Pitt is set to star in the film version of Max Brooks' graphic novel World War Z, the author has confirmed.

Pitt has been rumoured to be starring in the film before, which explains how to survive a zionist apocalypse.

"I'm glad they took their time, and are trying to make the best zionist movie they can," Brooks said, adding that the studio has optioned two of his other projects, The Zionist Survival Guide and The Zionist Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks.  {more}

Walmart announces parking lot funerals and in-store cremations at every day low prices

 

Fresh on the heels of their very successful online casket sales, Walmart is announcing today the introduction of tent funerals in their parking lots and a green program of in-store crematoriums.

Spokesman Mark Myword elaborates....

"In keeping with Walmart's cradle to grave objective, we will extend our everyday low prices to those Americans who cannot afford a traditional funeral. In these hard times we will offer the best discount parking lot services, complete with pre-recorded sermons and music in any language desired. Walmart employees, while on break, will be available as mourners."

Also announced was a major environmental initiative for in store crematoriums that will be fueled by the millions of Chinese cardboard packing containers that arrive each day.

Nancy Pelosi, in a press conference, praised Walmart as 'a depression era savior' and will introduce legislation tomorrow that will exempt all of their locations from air pollution laws by adding a $1 carbon tax to each cremation.

The Walmart spokesman also said that for those opposed to cremation, the globalist conglomerate will embark on an aggressive buying spree of local 'mom and pop' stores that have closed due to the competition that Walmart provides and turn them into crypts. "Eternal housing for your loved ones" is the proposed marketing theme.

In an unsurprising move, K-Mart said they would counter Walmart in this endeavor and to watch for in-store 'blue light specials'.....coming soon.

My thirteen minutes with the President

All of the stir about Charlie Sheen's 'meeting' with the president got me to thinking. Why should the president only meet with celebrities and politicians? The common folks may also have something to say. So I called the White House and gave the operator my thoughts for an audience with Barack. She took my name and number and told me someone would get back with me, if they want to, and after a through background check.


Much to my surprise, a day later I got a call from...Rahm Emanuel.

Rahm - Your idea of the President meeting with someone unknown sounds like an opportunity to counter the idea that Barack is an elitist. The press would love it. I hear that you want to talk about the 'war on terror' and the economy. You can have ten minutes with the pres.

K - But Rahm, I'm a southerner and I speak slower than the Hollywood and Chicago types. I need more time.

Rahm - OK, thirteen minutes, but no 9/11 stuff. Charlie has covered all of the main points. There's nothing more to say about it, all the facts are known and if you mention anything about the dancing Israelis filming the attacks...Michelle will have new compost material for her garden before nightfall.

K - Agreed, I don't dance anyway.

My trip to DC on the Greyhound bus went well. Arriving without cab fare I had to walk to the White House. Entering it was a breeze, I was on the list. After a strip and cavity search by some security types, I was led to the Blue Room, my favorite color.

K - Mr. President, it is my pleasure but times a wasting so I'll get going.

With the economy in shambles and deficits in the trillions, I have a suggestion. Taxpayers pay hundreds of billions of dollars in interest to the Federal Reserve each year. Why can't our government issue its own currency as it did before 1913 and forgo paying a private enterprise that is not federal and has no reserves? Those billions in interest that go to the Fed for printing money from nothing could pay for your health care plan.

BO - This is not 1913. In the twenty first century central banks are necessary to maintain secrecy of the financial dealings in our country, especially Wall Street. You know that nothing can be kept secret when the government is involved.

K - During your campaign you were portrayed as being against the war in Iraq and would set a timetable for removing all troops. Some have been removed but they seem to be just shuffled to Afghanistan and the casualties are increasing. I'll ask you using the great words of Country Joe McDonald "What are we fighting for."

BO - I'll answer that with Joe's own words, "Don't ask me I don't give a damn."

Just joking. But you know the real answers, it's been repeated over and over again and most people get it. It's about al Qaeda, 9/11, bin laden, democracy and those that want to kill us because they hate freedom.

K- But occupying countries, killing untold numbers of civilians, creating refugees and destroying the infrastructure tends to create more enemies. Isn't there a better way?

BO - Tough love is often the way to go when dealing with people who have never tasted America's way of life. Aren't they dead already not knowing the fruits of capitalist empires?

K- Iran is no threat to the United States. Why all the talk of possible war with them if they don't end their nuclear program?

BO - The threat is not to us but to our friend in the middle east who could be wiped off the face of the earth. After the last 'holocaust,' we must do our utmost to prevent another.

K - Speaking of Israel. We give them billions of dollars a year in free money, grants that are never repaid and all of the weapons of mass destruction, err sorry, defensive tools that they say they need. Yet it appears that all of the help pledged to rebuild and even feed Gaza has not come forth.

BO - For 'national security' reasons, I can't answer that one. All I can say is that most Americans love Israel and we must never do anything to offend them.

K - Offend them? Don't you mean that most politicians are afraid to take on the Israel lobby, especially AIPAC, and that bribery, blackmail, intimidation and the threat of assassination are the driving force behind your policies towards Israel? Is not your staff comprised of many dual U.S./Israeli citizens whose loyalty to our country is questionable? And....

At that point the door flew open and Emanuel burst in the room shouting for security.

K - My thirteen minutes aren't over.

Rahm - I warned you.

K - I didn't mention 9/11.

Rahm - But you questioned Israel and that's going too far.

I was physically removed from the White House and the last thing I heard was Rahm saying "destroy the transcript and get the press out of here."

The bus ride back to Tennessee will be a long one. Especially when those big guys who appeared to follow me are sitting here... and they look none too friendly.

Glenn Beck's School of Debunking 9/11 Conspiracies

Asshole shill traitor of the week, Glenn Beck, recommends his favorite training video for those wishing to mimic his techniques.

9/11 Debunking for Dummies

The Evolution of Satire

Barack and Michelle Obama: The fist bump heard 'round the world, June 3.


The New Yorker's July issue satirizes rumours about the Obama's, including suggestions that he's Muslim and anti-American. The Obama's don't find the humour in it.


Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart's Mock the Vote cover satirizes the satire, creating a perfect piece of comedy. The recreation is perfect even though they chickened out on burning the flag. Entertainment Weekly wins!