A Day in the Life of Abbey Road

The video for Blame Ringo's first single Garble Arch from their new album, Lucky Number 9, featuring a cast of tourists all attempting to recreate the iconic Beatles album Abbey Road, and trying not to get flattened in the process.

It's a surprisingly busy spot and clearing a fan magnet. I didn't have to watch the webcam long before I say a group taking photos, though most people cross obliviously. You can see many of the results on Flickr.

The Australian band, described as "wussy indie folk-rock," has received a creative boost from a legal dustup with Ringo Starr himself.

"Originally billed as "Goodnight Vienna," the band had to change its name in late 2007 after being threatened with legal action by Richard Starkey Jr. (aka Ringo Starr). Apparently "Goodnight Vienna" was the name of Ringo's fourth studio album and although he 'thoroughly enjoyed the music' he was 'obliged to dissuade any profiteering which resulted from the use of his intellectual property.'

"What a bastard.

"After a spiteful name change (and a lot muckracking) the new and improved Blame Ringo are set to have their revenge by seeking to expose the man who claims to inventing the peace sign.

And expose they do: "...he is a malevolent force, instrumental in many ugly world events, including, (but not limited to) the secret conspiracy to break up the Beatles."
Photos: A retouched picture show Lee Harvey Oswald's head on the photo of Ringo holding two Marxist newspapers — The Militant and The Worker — in one hand, a rifle in the other.

Ich bin ein Ringo - On February 6, 1932 Hitler met with Putzi Hanfstaengl at a German airfield. This photograph was take on that day. Closer inspection of the photo reveals a shadowy figure and a familiar grin. Could it be?

(Link via Boing Boing)

The Marketing Campaign Is Out There

In a summer season crowded with super heroes and big-budget blow 'em ups, how does a long-lost franchise break through the marketing clutter? No, not Indiana Jones — is there anyone who doesn't know that's coming out? (Plus it has a Cannes premiere, for whatever reason.) And I'm not talking about Sex and City, which has every media outlet indulging in all the fashion and relationship brouhaha that swirls around it.

I speak instead of intrepid FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully, who have long since faded from our TV screens. While the show went off the air in 2002, for many fans it ended two years previously when David Duchovney started curtailing his appearances. I had been an avid fan but lost interest with the convoluted, going-nowhere mythology, and once Mulder was gone I transferred my allegiances to a young Sydney Bristow. I never even saw the finale. A movie came out, which I recall had something to do with bees, and is now mostly referenced as a cautionary tale for Lost on how not to wrap up a series.

With so much baggage — and indifference — The X-Files has embarked upon a brilliant stealth marketing campaign to get people talking about extraterrestrials again, with the aid of some very heavy hitters.

First the Vatican weighed in, out of nowhere, professing a belief in aliens. "In my opinion this possibility (of life on other planets) exists," said Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes, the head of the Vatican Observatory and a scientific adviser to Pope Benedict.

"How can we exclude that life has developed elsewhere," he told the Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano in an interview in its Tuesday-Wednesday edition, explaining that the large number of galaxies with their own planets made this possible.

This from a church who didn't get around to admitting that Galileo was right about the earth revolving around the sun until 1992.

Then on the same day Britain's Ministry of Defense released their files on UFO sightings, dating back to the 1970s, with more to come. The ministry said it compiled the reports solely to determine whether enemy aircraft had infiltrated British airspace. "The Ministry of Defense has no other interest or role regarding UFO matters and does not consider questions regarding the existence or otherwise of extraterrestrial life-forms," it said Wednesday.

A coincidence, as easily explained as weather balloons reflecting city lights, or evidence of viral marketing is out there? It's a conspiracy I want to believe.

DUI Charges as Lost Spoilers

Lost isn't back on the air until next February and already we know who's going to get killed off. Jin-Soo Kwon will be biting the dust after being the latest cast member to be arrested on suspicion of drinking and driving.

Daniel Dae Kim, who plays the reluctant Korean enforcer, was pulled over by Honolulu police and charged, following in the illustrious footsteps of his former cast-mates Michelle Rodriguez (Anna Lucia) and (Cynthia Watros Libby.)

After being busted for their own DUIs in 2005, both Anna Lucia and Libby were shot. Eko, played by Adewale Akinnuoye Agbaje, was also killed off following a traffic run-in with the Hawaii 5-0. Various reasons were given for their leaving the show, but a pattern is emerging.

With a huge cast and new characters constantly being added, it's easy for producers to knock off an actor causing trouble. I'd think it would be cheaper to hire them all drivers and let them get blitzed all they like than firing them - even I can afford a cab after I've been out boozing.

But if this trend is going to continue, could someone please give Matthew Fox a case of liquor and a set of car keys? I can't take another season of Jack's smugness.

Hide-and-Suri

Tom Cruise just can’t win. I find it odd to be feeling sympathetic towards world famous bazillionaire, but circus surrounding the whereabouts (or indeed, even existence) of little Suri Cruise has become absurd.

It has been over three months Suri was born (bought/came out of the test tube/ fell to earth) and still the clamouring public has yet to see Katie Holmes and Tom’s spawn. Does she exist? Was Katie just wearing an ever-expanding pillow around? Is it because Suri looks as much like Tom as Blanket does to Michael Jackson? These are some of the increasingly outlandish claims surrounding Scientology’s chosen couple.

Now I enjoy conspiracy theories and making fun of celebs as much as the next person, but I think the circus surrounding the non-existent pics is a little much. When Tom turned into a couch-jumping, propose-at-the-Eiffel-Tower lunatic, everyone wondered why the previously press savvy star all of a sudden couldn’t find a camera he didn’t love. His public respect began dipping in direct relation to how much face time he received.

Cut to a year later and the couple is now being camera shy with their baby and everyone wants to know why. Jolie and Pitt trot out their little one for $4.1 million and everyone swans over Baby’s First Invasion of privacy. Meanwhile when Tom and Katie’s kid doesn’t grace the tabloids, people speculate their price wasn’t met. Maybe, just maybe, they’ve decided their baby doesn’t need to be exposed to the public curiosity fuelled paparazzi cameras. Nah, that can’t be it. Kid must look like an alien.

(Wonderful X-Files mashup poster from The Art Pitt.)

Drinkin’ and Drivin’ Is Bad for Your Career

For any Lost fans who haven’t watched last night’s episode, stop reading now. You’ve been warned.

As rumoured, Anna Lucia (Michelle Rodriguez) and Libby (Cynthia Watros) had some bullet holes put in them at the end of episode. You may recall that these two castaways were both busted minutes apart last December for drinking and driving.

There was much speculation that Rodriguez’s character’s belligerent behaviour extended off screen as well and producers were fed up with her. She told the arresting Hawaii 5-0: "I don’t fucking belong here! Why don’t you just put a gun to my head and shoot me! You’ve already taken my freedom! You might as well take my life too!"

She got her wish. Having just finished her five-day stint in the clink last week her life was taken on the show. Much like on the show, perhaps Watros was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Meanwhile the show's producers insist they weren’t delivering any moral message about the perils of drunk driving. "It's going to look like this is the Lost producers' attempt to say, 'Don't drive drunk!'" Damon Lindelof told TVGuide.com, insisting the decision to kill off the characters came before the incident.

I guess we’ll never know for sure. It’s the great thing about conspiracy theories – they can never be disproved by those who want to believe.

The Real Da Vinci Code Conspiracy

A British judge has ruled that a lawsuit claiming that Dan Brown plagiarized parts of The Da Vinci Code from the authors of The Holy Blood and The Holy Grail was virtually devoid of merit.

Both books suggest that Jesus had a child with Mary Magdalene and the bloodline continues to this day. Two of The Holy Blood authors alleged Brown had taken his ideas from their work – a claim that was dismissed out of hand. "Why," asked High Court Justice Peter Smith, "did the claimants" even bring their suit when even they lack "any genuine belief" in its merits?

Why indeed? Since launching the lawsuit the long-awaited paperback of The Da Vinci Code was released with a 5 million copy; Michael Baigent, one of the authors suing Brown, has launched his latest book, The Jesus Papers; sales for both of The Da Vinci Code and The Holy Blood and The Holy Grail – both published by Random House – have increased; every report about the lawsuit has noted that the book has been turned into a Hollywood film starring Tom Hanks, coming to a theatre near you this May, dontcha know?

What would the legal costs be when compared to the increase in sales and the extraordinary amount of free publicity given to both books and the upcoming film? Just a drop in a modern day marketing budget’s bucket.

It's a Conspiracy!

I am not very prone to conspiratorial thoughts. I believe that artists and entertainment companies are looking out for the best interests of their fans and their creations and would never do anything untoward just for the publicity. No, wait, that is the opposite of what I believe.

I had speculated that the Da Vinci Code plagiarism trial was really just a sham to get free, world-wide coverage for the upcoming film of the same name. How short-sighted of me. If anything, it was to get the book back in everybody’s head for tomorrow’s North American release of 5 million paperback editions of the blockbuster novel by Random House. That’s the company that also publishes Holy Blood, Holy Grail, whose authors are suing Dan Brown. Just a coincidence, I’m sure.

In other conspiracy news, Isaac Hayes’ spokesperson Amy Harnell has denied that the voice of Chef was ever hospitalized for a stroke and was not coerced into quitting South Park. Of course Hayes hasn’t said any of this directly and his flak is herself a Scientologist. Mighty suspicious.

And remember the live-action Simpsons opener that was floating about You Tube and your friend’s emails? The one that appeared to be filmed by some fans and then was revealed to have been created by a British cable company? It aired last night in front of the Ricky Gervais-penned episode, an official rendering all along. I’ve got no real complaint here, it is still funny, but it’s not the fan-created film it appeared to be.

One last one, seeing as I’m adding to all of my recent rants. It looks like one member of the mega-rich (I assume) former Friends clan has put the brakes on a reunion show by turning down a truckload of cash. Lisa Kudrow says it is one of the male cast members who said no, and my bet would be David Schwimmer. Matt LeBlanc is still playing Joey and Matthew Perry has a pilot for next year, so clearly he’s not object to heading back to the tube. If true, I say good for him. You had a great run, now leave it alone. Any reunion would just be a pointless nostalgia fest akin to attending an Eagles concert, and nobody wants that.

Da Vinci Code a Holy Conspiracy

The Da Vinci Code is under fire. Not from Catholic secret society Opus Dei (though it is none too fond of the mega-selling book) but by the authors of another conspiratorial book about an alternative lineage of Jesus Christ.

Michael Baigent and Richard Leigh, authors of the 1982 nonfiction book Holy Blood, Holy Grail, are suing Random House over the allegation that parts of their work formed the basis of Dan Brown's novel, which has sold more than 40 million copies.

Both books are anchored by the theory that Jesus married Mary Magdalene and they had a child, and that bloodline survives to this day. Holy Blood, Holy Grail adds that Christ did not die on the cross but lived later in France, Both agree that there is a conspiracy to hid the bloodline. (Get many, many legal details here.)

There is indeed a conspiracy here, but it has little to do with the contents of the books. This story was picked up across the world. It was one of the lead items on the national newscast I watched, which devoted several minutes to it. High up in many of the pieces was something about how an injunction barring the use of their material could hold up the release of The Da Vinci Code film – May 19! Starring Tom Hanks! Don’t miss it!

So what did we get out of this? Two books, both published by Random House are in a legal battle. Sales of The Da Vinci Code are unlikely to rise much more, but there may be someone who hadn’t heard about it before. It is already working for Holy Blood, Holy Grail, which was up to number nine on Amazon.com's top sellers list as of Monday night, five slots below The Da Vinci Code, according to E Online!

And how much would it cost Sony to buy the amount of publicity this dispute is generating? I can’t prove any of this is true, but court costs would be a drop in the bucket of a blockbuster marketing campaign.

Don’t’ Call It A Comeback

The cover of the latest Entertainment Weekly has a line on the bottom right corner that says Dave Chappelle: His Wild Comeback Explodes With A Thrilling New Movie.

Comeback? Not really. Sure he hasn’t been in the public eye, but his movie Dave Chappelle’s Block Party was shown at the Toronto Film Festival back in September and was filmed long before he:
a) Went crazy
b) Went into rehab
c) Succumbed to the pressure
d) Was forced out by powerful black celebs
e) All of the above

But comeback is how you sell things. Which is why he had to do his mea culpa on Oprah’s show – Oprah being one of the influential black entertainers and politicians who (in a grand conspiracy theory) knocked Chappelle off his perch.

The theory held that these figures weren’t happy with the “negative stereotypes about African Americans” his show was perpetuating. So what did he tell Oprah? “I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible."

Of course the theory was all just a joke. Wasn’t it?

But Don't You Wish It Were True?

Have you ever wondered what really happened to Dave Chappelle? It looked like he had it all – a hot show, the mantle of “It” comedian taken from Chris Rock and Comedy Central dropping $50-million on him to keep doing his thing.

Then faster than you can say “I’m Rick James, bitch!” he lost it and headed to a South African mental institution (maybe) and the third season of his show was out on indefinite hiatus.

Or maybe a cabal of influential black entertainers and politician destroyed his career. That’s what’s being suggested at The Chappelle Theory, which says Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, Jesse Jackson, Bill Cosby, Oprah Winfrey and Whoopi Goldberg:

“…felt Chappelle's Show reinforced negative stereotypes about African Americans, and that its content was, in the words of group leader Bill Cosby, ‘setting race relations back 50 years.’”

It’s great stuff, a fantastic conspiracy theory. It started floating about the web last week and got picked up by blogs like Defamer and the like. It turns out that it is either a clever piece of viral marketing for the next season of the Chappelle show that is being cobbled together out of left-over skits, or the opening salvo of a new satire site. Or it’s actually true.

Either way, I love it. Make up your own mind.