Alien vs. Predator Babies

Who knew their rivalry went back to the nursery. Anywho, those are are some ugly babies. (Alien vs. Predator at ufunk; link via Geek-Art)

Previously on Popped Culture...

Tintin Vs. Predator

Alien Vs. Pooh

Checkmate In Four Moves, Predator

If Ikea Made Instructions For Everything

You've probably already seen this by now, but I don't care, it still makes me laugh. God, how I hate Ikea. (Caldwell Tanner for College Humor)

Previously on Popped Culture...

Two Girls, One-Up

Daddy, Can I Have Herpes?

Hot Chair-on-Chair Action

Mr. Pwesident: Commander-In-Diapers

"Was sitting at lunch the other day with friends playing a common game among story artists... thinking up "bad movie ideas that you could actually see getting made". This concept is so high (drug reference pun intended), it needed to have a poster made for it. And don't ask why Clint Eastwood is in the movie...he just is, it was a bad career choice."

From Pixar story artist Josh Cooley, who also made created Inappropriate Little Golden Books.

Previously on Popped Culture...
Tarantino Babies
High Fidelity for the High Chair Set
Inappropriate Little Golden Books

Electronic Soother

Am I turning my son’s brain into goo? Will he be a TV-addicted couch potato before he can crawl? If so, he won’t be the only one. A new study says children under two are spending as much time in front of the boob tube as on the boob, with 90 per cent of them watching 1.5 hours of TV daily. Even 40 per cent of three-month olds are regular viewers of the box.

This, I’m told, is a bad thing. Both the Canadian and American Pediatric Societies say children under two shouldn’t be watching any television. Too much TV is linked to learning problems, aggressive behaviour and difficulties paying attention later in life. Damn! But it’s so much fun, so what’s a parent to do?

We aren’t plopping Tristan down in front of the tube, but nor do we keep it off while he is on the room. It’s part of our life and I know it will be part of his. I can already see the fascination it has for him — while sitting in his chair he will squirm around to catch a glimpse of the screen or peer over my shoulder to see what is going on. The sound and motion have a considerable draw for him.

I agree that I shouldn’t be using the TV as an electronic babysitter and nor do I think that there is much value in it for him. But I don’t believe, based on no absolutely no knowledge, that these incidental viewing times will be detrimental. I am a child of TV myself and while I may not be curing diseases I figure I came out ok. A little obsessed with pop culture for sure, but none the worse for wear.

High Fidelity for the High Chair Set

Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated
Nothin' to do and nowhere to go-o-oh I wanna be sedated

It could be the mantra for any new parent after hours of trying to calm down a cranky, crying baby who is too tired to fall asleep. So what do we turn to? Kids songs and sweetly soothing lullabies – which get a little hard to take after awhile. Raffi can be fun, but I have two much younger sisters, so this sounds like Round Four of Robin in the Rain for me and some days it’s a bit much.

So what’s a hipster to do? Tristan gets his fill of my music in the car, but am I really going to lull him to sleep with The Ramones’ I Wanna Be Sedated or let him drift off to Nirvana’s Heart-Shaped Box? The answer appears to be yes. Baby Rock Records has released over a dozen lullaby tributes to bands such as Radiohead, The Cure, Nirvana, The Ramones, Metallica, Coldplay and more. The songs are recorded using glockenspiels, vibraphones, harps and other tinkly-sounding instruments, turning teen angst into baby-friendly melodies.

From Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions of Nirvana: “You know it. With the lights out, it’s less dangerous. These lullaby renditions of Nirvana’s best-loved songs turn the volume way down, while turning up the dreaminess of their pop hooks. In many ways, this album echoes the simple pleasures and innocence of infancy and childhood. Childish tra-la-la’s tempered the distortion of Nirvana’s own songs. Chimes, glockenspiels and other gentle instruments temper Nirvana’s wild spirit for your little one. “Smells Like Teen Spirit?” Smells like nap time."

I never knew I’d be soothing my son to sleep to the sounds of Radiohead, but maybe that’s what they had in mind all along…

Please could you stop the noise, I'm trying get some rest
From all the unborn chicken voices in my head
What's that...? (I may be paranoid, but not an android)
What's that...? (I may be paranoid, but not an android)

Who Taught You to Live Like That?

When is the right time to expose your child to the Dead Kennedys? Is the Forgotten Rebels’ Surfin’ on Heroin an appropriate lullaby? These are not abstract questions, but something I wondered while driving in the car with the six-day-old Tristan with the iPod on shuffle. He's already been surround by music during his few days on this world. We had the laptop in the delivery room and he came into the world listening to Metric, coincedentally arriving to Combat Baby.

Yesterday he sat in my arms while I was watching Robot Chicken and he seemed vaguely attentive as the Trix rabbit sold coke to the rest of the breakfast cereal mascots in a great parody of Blow. He’s not just getting pop culture moments, but meta references – not that they mean anything to him now. But I figure it will seep in at some point. I knew all The Beatles music when I was in high school, but not because I had listened to it, but because my parents had for years before. So I hope you like Sloan, kiddo.

Is that so bad? I don’t have any desire to hear in what manner the wheels on the bus rotate, or how many humps Alice the Camel (or Fergie for the that matter) has. That isn’t entirely true of course, as I will happily sing to Tristan, but I don’t feel the need to only play that kind of music around him.

So is there pop culture for babies? Is it those songs? Books that you read to them? I suppose I will find out soon. So far it’s just been stealth marketing. To date, Tristan has two outfits with Winnie the Pooh on them and an offer for Winnie the Pooh books that come with a Tigger clock – all from Disney. He also has Clifford the Big Red Dog on a quilt and Sesame Street characters on his Pampers. Who are they indoctrinating, him or me?

You’ve Got Baby

We interrupt this blog to introduce the newest member of the Popped Culture family: Tristan Lyell Barker. He was in such a rush to get into the world, he arrived a full two weeks early.

Weighing in at a respectable six pounds and eight ounces, the little one was surprisingly quiet, considering his parentage. Tristan comes with the full compliment of fingers and toes, as well as all the other standard bits and pieces.

Mom – otherwise known as Gill – is doing very well and resting comfortably. I am wired to the hilt on coffee and nervous energy. We are both are overtired and in a vague state of shock that we are now parents.

In his first 24 hours of life, he’s already been mentioned on a scandalous blog (damn paparazzi!) and begun to be deluged by pop culture. Included in a welcome package dropped off in our hospital room were coupons for books by Dr. Suess (good) and Disney (not so much). At least McDonald’s hasn’t tried to get its claws into my child… yet.

It’s going to be an interesting journey for so many reasons, including all the new entertainment venues I’ll be able to explore. Who says I’m not in touch with youth culture?