Celebrity See, Celebrity Do

Hang him upside down and stick a fork in him, Michael Richards career is done. Already fading away, the former K-K-Kramer decided to give his career a poorly thought out publicity boost, Mel Gibson style.

During a failed piece of standup last Friday, Richards was taunted about his lack of comedy skill, and he decided to prove the heckler right by launching into a racial epithet-laden rage that cleared the room. Richards, who is Exhibit One of The Seinfeld Curse, has already begun the de rigueur rounds of celebrity apologies – most likely because his What’s the Deal With N-----s? routine was posted in all its bigoted glory on the gossip site TMZ.

Appearing last night on the Late Show with David Letterman during a segment with Jerry Seinfeld, Richards said he was sorry and that he was not a racist. If that doesn’t take, expect to see him check in to rehab in the next week for drugs/alcohol/exhaustion or a tearful admission to Oprah about being abused as a child. As Cosmo’s former lawyer Jackie Chiles would have said: “It's outrageous, egregious, preposterous.”

In other news, it appears Fox has finally found something that even they find unpalatable. The usually, umm, cutthroat Rupert Murdoch has put the kibosh on O.J. Simpsons “fictional” confession If I Did It, Here's How It Happened. Seems the tycoon came to the realization that an interview and book of Simpson graphically describing how he would have carried out the 1994 murders of his ex-wife Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman, stating that it “was an ill-considered project.” Gee, ya think? Anyway, I’m glad to see them come to their senses and I just hope it isn’t all being saved for MySpace.

Naked Gun 44 1/4 - Nordberg gets The Chair

O.J. Simpson is no longer looking for the real killer, having come to the same conclusion we have all come to – he did it. Of course seeing as he has been found not guilty of murder, the former actor (and football player, so I’m told) has had to find another way to confess.

In If I Did It, Here's How It Happened, O.J. “tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes," said a statement from Fox, describing an interview with The Juice at the end of the month. The book will be followed by the publication of a similarly titled book, proving conclusively there is no such thing as bad publicity.

I’m not easily shocked, but this is just twisted. If, as he has so often claimed, he is innocent, why would he possible want to imagine himself as the killer? If he did kill his ex-wife Nicole Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman (but the glove didn’t fit!) than this a disturbingly cynical attempt to profit from a crime. Back off O.J., that’s Hollywood’s job.

I suppose that I shouldn’t be surprised that someone is willing to publish and air this nonsense, but I suppose there’s a buck to be made. Next up on Fox – When Killers Attack! followed by World’s Slowest Police Chases.

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