A Reading from the Hipster Bible

"Posers!" Moses yelled. And lo, it was lame. More reading from the Hipster Bible by Caldwell Tanner at College Humor.

Previously on Popped Culture...

If Superheroes Were Hipsters

The Internet Bible, FTW

Matthew, Mark, Luke and Optimus Prime

STONED TO DEATH

No country is perfect.

The Jews stoned people to death and the 'mad Moslems' copied them.

Numbers 15:32-36:

While the Israelites were in the desert, a man was found gathering wood on the Sabbath day...

The LORD said to Moses, "The man must die. The whole assembly must stone him outside the camp."

So the assembly took him outside the camp and stoned him to death, as the LORD commanded Moses. (The UnHoly Bible)

"In much of the Bible, especially the Old Testament, there are laws that command that people be killed for absurd reasons such as working on the Sabbath, being gay, cursing your parents, or not being a virgin on your wedding night." (Murder in the Bible)

Abraham was going to murder his son Isaac.

"Italian and Russian police, working together, broke up a ring of Jewish gangsters who had been involved in the manufacture of child rape and snuff pornography.

"Three Russian Jews and eight Italian Jews were arrested after police discovered they had been kidnapping non-Jewish children between the ages of two and five years from Russian orphanages, raping the children, and then murdering them on film.

"Mostly non-Jewish customers, including 1,700 nationwide, 600 in Italy, and an unknown number in the United States, paid as much as $20,000 per film to watch little children being raped and murdered." (Italian, Russian Police Break Up Child Snuff Porn Ring)

Palestinian kids, murdered by Israel.

The countries that carry out the most executions include China, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and the USA.

Americans executed this apparently innocent youth.

Lynching occurred in the United States chiefly from the late 1700s through the 1960s.

Afghanistan and Iran were relatively civilised until the USA began its interference.

The Dalai Lama may be correct when he says that most people are gentle in nature

He says he does not believe people are naturally violent.

He says the basic human nature is to be a social animal and the basis of a social animal is some kind of cooperation, “So therefore I describes human nature as more gentleness.”

He says that the people who are violent are in the minority in our society.

He says we take for granted that the violence by others becomes very striking in our minds, so it becomes significant, but he says the majority of people still remain gentle by human nature.

He says that human beings by nature want happiness and do not want suffering. (Teachings: Dalai Lama Quotes)

Chimpanzees will help humans without any reward in return.[8]

The peaceful sociable Bonobos, who are our nearest relatives, have been observed aiding injured or handicapped bonobos.[9]

Animals that cooperate are more likely to survive.

Cooperation is a very successful survival strategy.

It has been the basis of all the most dramatic steps in the history of life. (Evolution myths: 'Survival of the fittest' justifies 'everyone for ...)

In the 1940s, Brigadier Gen. S.L.A. Marshall claimed that only 15-20% of America's World War II soldiers would use their weapons in battle. (On Killing, by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, p. 4 - The Canadian National Newspaper: Twilight of the Psychopaths )

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Pulp Sesame

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides with the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know that my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

I do love me some Pulp Fiction mashups, so having Ernie and Bert as Vincent Vega and Jules Winnfield is an instant winner for me, even if it did seem very familiar. TeeFury is selling Pulp Sesame by James Lillis, so grab it before it's gone.

Previously on Popped Culture...
William Shakespeare's Pulp Fiction
Pulp Fiction vs. Google Wave
Pulp Audio Fiction

The Internet Bible, FTW

The expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden, told in four simple panels. I don't know if I should be impressed or appalled that it made perfect sense to me.  The First Fail from cartoonist H. Caldwell Tanner. (Link via The Zeray Gazette)

Previously on Popped Culture...
Keyboard Cat's Last Supper
All Your Viral Videos Are Belong To Us
Teh Lolcats Theme Song

Matthew, Mark, Luke and Optimus Prime

Killer robots and grim-faced heros? This is not your King James Bible. Forget Mr. T in anime, how about the figures of the Old and New Testament in manga form?

Boing Boing featured two versions of Manga bible tracts over the past few days and it reminded me of the illustrated version I had as a kid — which never looked this interesting.

The Manga Bible, described as "the most Extreme version of the Bible yet!" is a full version of the scripture while Mecha-Manga Bible Heroes features Old Testament tales, but in "a futuristic world of robots, aliens and advanced technology!"

Anything to get those crazy kids to learn about the word, right? Reminds me of Ned Flander's religious trading cards:

Bart: Oh boy! Free trading cards!
Milhouse: Wow! Joseph of Arimathea! Twenty six conversions in A.D. 46.
Nelson: Whoa, a Methuselah rookie card!
Flanders: Heh heh, well boys, who'd have thought learning about religion could be fun?
Bart: Religion?
Milhouse: Learning?
Nelson: Let's get out of here!