Teacher, Mother, Secret Lover

So many lessons from my hours in front of the TV this evening:

The Winner
The laugh track is still in use. The canned laughter on Rob Corddry’s new show about a 32-year-old virgin who lives with his parents was so overwhelming that it was almost hard to hear the sucking. Do directors believe that the sound of faux merriment will be so contagious that people will laugh along? Not if this show remains so painfully unfunny. Every joke fell flat, the premise was strained and the acting was stiff. I like Corddry’s work on The Daily Show, but this was just terrible. “There's no way I could live with myself if I missed that,” says a character at the end of the episode. Can’t say I agree. Watch it now if you so desire – it’s not long for primetime.

The Amazing Race
Lying and cheating doesn’t always pay off. This comes as a complete surprise to me as it is usually a prerequisite for reality TV success. Tonight professional reality TV contestants Rob and Amber Mariano were eliminated despite doing every little thing they could to get ahead of Charla and Mirna, including stealing their cab. The scheming pair, who won the first three legs of the race, blew it all by misspelling Philippines. Easy come easy go, I suppose. Many Amazing Race fans considered them interlopers but I liked their there-to-win-not-to-make-friends style. I’d guess this will be the final chapter of their TV run, but you never can tell.

The Apprentice
My PVR doesn’t’ like The Apprentice. For the past couple of weeks it has dropped Trump from my record schedule – perhaps I should take the hint. Actually I (no longer secretly) enjoy the bizknobs infomercial battle, though producer Mark Burnett has become too heavy handed in giving away the results with overly telegraphed music cues.

Zeroes
Turns out the Heroes parody was created by NBC - it did seem too good for a fan video. It was funny, I don't see why they needed to hide the source.

The King of All Reality Media

Fifteen minutes of fame? Not for Rob and Amber Mariano – the pair have parlayed their appearances on Survivor into careers on reality TV. In a boob tube schedule littered with reality shows, it’s an impressive feat to stand put from the crowd.

I have, for better or worse, watched every season of Survivor and other than Richard Hatch, Rupert, Rudy and the dude who said his grandmother died, I don’t remember a single one of them, and that includes the women who dropped trou for Playboy. That leaves over 200 people who were just fodder for the cameras, never to be seen again. Same goes with The Apprentice – I don’t remember the winners, let alone those fired by Trump. So when a couple manages not just one reality show, but six, they have clearly managed to capture the couch potato’s imagination.

Three seasons of Survivor, a reality TV wedding, Rob’s attempt to become a pro poker player in Rob and Amber: Against the Odds and now a second chance to win Amazing Race. One episode in and they have already easily cruised into the lead, displaying all the bravado that fans and competitors have come to love and hate. ''If you asked us who we'd really like to race against, there's really nobody. But if you ask anybody else, they'd say Rob and Amber,'' said Amber modestly on the premiere of Amazing Race: All-Stars.

It’s just fun to watch them as they have a genuine understanding of what they are there to do. Win. They aren’t there to make alliances, to come home with friends; it’s about winning the million and expanding the brand. They were so far out in front that they showed them completing the Checkpoint and then returned to the rest of the teams trying to find the Detour. It’s like professionals joined the Laff-A-Lympics.