Risky Business

Did Tom Cruise really get kicked out of his studio for bad behaviour?

When Cruise dropped his long time publicist and discovered he loved the media and really, really, loved Katie Holmes, I hopped right on his crazy train. Here was an actor that had assiduously created the persona of an old-style A-lister. People called him the hardest-working man in showbiz and his image remained squeaky clean, even during his divorce to Nicole Kidman. Anyone who dared speculate about his sexuality in print found a hail of lawyers raining down upon them.

Once Tom found Katie, all of that changed. Soon there wasn’t a camera he didn’t love and the formerly reserved actor’s appearance on Oprah spawned the phrase "Jumped the couch." He publicly feuded with Brooke Shields about post-partum depression and the use of drugs and called psychiatry a Nazi science. Scientology, which he’d long been an adherent, began to play a more open role in his life. People called him crazy and the label started to stick as rumours swirled around Holmes’ pregnancy, the birth of Suri and TomKat's subsequent media aversion.

It all came to a head this week when Sumner Redstone, the chairman of Viacom (Paramount Picture's parent company) publicly kicked the superstar to curb. "As much as we like him personally, we thought it was wrong to renew his deal. His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount," Redstone said. "It's nothing to do with his acting abilities. He's a terrific actor. But we don't think that someone who effectuates career suicide and costs the company revenue should be on the lot."

Career suicide? While Redstone claims Cruise's antics may have hurt the box office take of Mission: Impossible III by as much as $150 million, the film is still expected to bring in $400-million worldwide. Cruise has been working with Paramount for 14 years and his most recent films have averaged around $100 million each.

I’ll admit that Cruise has been off the rails, but has it really been that detrimental? It’s been fun blogging material and he is incredibly off base about psychiatry, but who was going to take his opinions seriously in the first place? Was being hummingbird excited on Oprah so terrible? Maybe M:I3 sales were down because nobody was really looking for a sequel and John Woo’s M:I2 sucked (there, I said it).

Clearly this was about money and the obscene amount of it that Cruise was getting before the studio got its taste. Which is fine – it’s called show business and cold, hard cash talks. I don’t see why the studio need to hide its reasoning behind such a flimsy excuse as Cruise’s antics. Mel Gibson’s recent drunken racist rant didn’t get him cut off by the studio putting out Apocalypto, and it is Disney no less. They obviously believe he’s still an earner so they are turning a blind eye. If Cruise could still make studios billions, he could jump on as many couches as he liked.

The Last Days of Gossip

Those of you who believe that dolphins are a kinder, more gentle species than humans and not just the second most intelligent beings on the planet (after mice) are in for a shock. They gossip.

Yes, much like celebrity blogs and tabloids, dolphins appear to enjoy talking about other dolphins behind their backs, according to Scottish research. “We know this because we know their names. Each bottlenose individual identifies itself by a unique pattern of whistles and clicks along the lines of woo-woo-wee-wee, or even woo-wee-woo-woo-wee-woo. What was not known until the Scottish research, however, is that a pair of dolphins use the name of a third dolphin when that third dolphin isn't present. In other words, dolphins gossip.”

Take that those of you who look down your nose at people who enjoy reading about the trails and tribulations of celebs. All higher beings enjoy a little schadenfreude.

So is it ingrained? Are people going to gossip no matter what? Bruno Maddox suggests in the latest Discover magazine (even they discuss gossip!) that if anything the web is making gossip even faster, shortening its shelf life, leading to a world without secrets. I’ve seen it happen already. I had two guest bloggers last week. On Monday one wrote about the travails about the King of Malibu and by Thursday another was crying enough with Mad Mel. How’s that for turnaround?

When we all know everything, will there still be a reason to talk about others? Of course we will. When the little kid yelled that the emperor had no clothes, he was just participating in a treasured tradition – mocking our social betters. And that never gets tired.

How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

Did ya miss me? How could you with such great guest bloggers filling in for me?

Many thanks to webgrrl for her take on the new fall TV season: I too think Studio 60 will be a hit and the best of the two SNL shows coming out. With Aaron Sorkin behind it, I think they could have a winner. I’d say it was odd that there are two similar shows coming out the same year, but Hollywood has always been skilled at beating a horse long before it’s dead. I don’t have as high hopes for Tina Fey’s 30 Rock – it has the feel of something rushed together once Lorne Michaels got wind of Studio 60.

As for a new show from J.J. Abrams, it sounds a lot like Spike Lee’s Inside Man, but as long as he doesn’t end up abandoning Lost I’m willing to give it a shot.

And thanks to James for stepping out of the world of finance to tell everyone that enough is enough about Mel Gibson. I couldn’t agree more – we already knew Mel was crazy. Just look back at South Park’s The Passion of the Jew. Amusingly, he’s now blogged more than his girlfriend over at It’s All About Me. Ok, it’s amusing to me at least.

Madness and Mel

Jer is back at his cottage - lucky bastard - and tagged me to step in for a post. Why me - a 'finance guy' with occasional dabblings in sports? No clue. But here goes...
One can't flip through a newspaper, turn on a TV or surf the net without somehow tuning into the Mel Gibson arrest. Apparently 'mad Mel' - who has a history of alcohol abuse and even got pinched for a DUI while filming a movie in Toronto almost 20 years ago - got drunk, hopped into his car, was pulled over by police, and made an ass of himself while being arrested. End of story, right? Wrong.
Like your worst hangover fears come to life, Mel woke up the next day - presumably after being released from the drunk tank - to discover news of the arrest had leaked out over the wires, making his bad day so much worse. Word then started to leak about his anti-Semitic remarks - as well as degrading comments he made to a female arresting officer. Could it get any worse? Yes.
The media was over this like a fat kid on chocolate. This was their oasis in the desert. What they'd been waiting for all summer.. "Mel is through," many rejoiced. Others simply said his career was merely on life-support.
Maybe so - but who cares? I've been shaking my head since the story broke stunned at the vitriol - the unadulterated passion - with which people have been attacking the guy. I'm not about to defend what he said - how could one defend the indefensible anyway? But the glee with which bloggers - Perez Hilton comes to mind - have been sharpening their knives is frightening.
Why?
Wanting to take the high road - I thought maybe they focused on the anti-Semitic remarks as a means of somehow digesting what was happening in the Middle East. Understandable. But somehow I think this misses the mark. The online media also attacks phenomenon like 'Starzilla', 'TomKat' and Britney with similar zeal.
Mel might be guilty of hatred. But couldn't the same be said of others?
I for one am tuning out.

Mel & Lindsay: Teflon or Toast?

When Popped Culture first asked me to be one of his guest editors this week, I was thrilled. (Actually, I was jealous. How come he gets to spend another week lounging around at the cottage while I'm stuck here in Smog City? Lazy bastard!) But then – after I stopped fantasizing about hiding an mp3 player that looped Jessica Simpson's "A Public Affair" under his hammock – I began to appreciate the opportunity. Finally, a chance to step away from my own celebrity-obsessed blog (which, don't get me wrong, I adore – but there's only so much a gal can say about Paris Hilton nipple slips) and write about groundbreaking, important entertainment trends. Is YouTube killing the traditional broadcast network model? Is the hype around Miami Vice and Snakes on a Plane proof that movie critics no longer matter? Which of the TV pilots that I've been lucky enough to screen are worth watching this fall?

Alas, it's not to be. Despite my initial protests, I'm going to have to follow my gut and lay a big ol' slab of celebrity gossip on ya. (It's my gift - it's my curse.) I mean, what kind of guest editor would I be if I failed to address the two biggest stories of the day – Mel Gibson's DUI arrest and Lindsay Lohan's public scolding?

We all know the details by now. Gibson got pulled over by the cops last week and reportedly proceeded to resist arrest, complain that his life is "f*cked up," refer to a female police officer as "sugar t*ts," make unbelievably anti-Semitic comments, threaten the arresting officer, warn that he was going to urinate on the floor of his jail cell, refuse to sign the necessary paperwork, and attempt to break a telephone. (Whew! Finger cramp!)

As for La-Lohan, a movie executive finally called her out for being "discourteous, irresponsible and unprofessional" on the set of her new flick, where she was too sick to work but well enough to party every night.

The big question that's on everybody's lips today: have these two megastars just committed career suicide? The answer: hells no!

When it comes to Lindsay, producers already know what they're getting themselves into when they offer her roles. They're not signing her because she has immense Oscar-calibre talent, a stellar work ethic, or a misstep-free resume. They're signing her because she's Lindsay freakin' Lohan! A vapid stick insect of a girl who is guaranteed to be in the press every single day which, good or bad, keeps their movie in the press every single day. I mean, had anyone even heard of Georgia Rules before this? Even the nasty letter-writing producer seems to have softened his stance towards our beloved Firecrotch today.

As for dear old Melly Mel, that's a little more complex. He'll inevitably come out of this smelling like Vatican-grown roses, but Hollywood has to keep up this horrified, outraged pretense for a while longer. So the Anti-Defamation League will continue to issue "Gibson Made Jesus Cry" statements, ABC will pretend to back away from his Holocaust project, and execs behind his upcoming Apocalypto flick will hold off on the publicity push until the backlash dies down. And it will die down. Because, let's face it, Gibson's arrest didn't tell us anything we didn't already know. Oh my god, Mel's crazy! Holy crap, he treats women like shit! Dear lord, he's anti-Semitic! Pul-eeze. Anyone who caught a little flick called The Passion of the Christ could have told you that.

So Mel and Linds, like countless other celebrities before them, will continue to act like complete and total assholes, and we the consumers will continue to forgive and support them. They're Teflon, baby. The scandal stink just don't stick.

-webgrrl