Free At Last!

Were there any lingering doubts that celebrities get treated differently by the justice system, one only need to look at Paris Hilton’s release into house arrest after serving a gruelling three days of her 23-day sentence.

Paris will now serve out the rest of her time, confined to the oppressive confirms of her Hollywood mansion, suffering through the indignity of getting a tan line from her electronic monitoring bracelet while she lounges by the pool.

Originally sentenced to 45 days for violating her probation for driving on a suspended license following a booze-related driving conviction, it was reduced to 23 days on the assumption she would play nice in jail. Her “reassignment” on Thursday morning was predicated on a heretofore undisclosed medical condition that had somehow gone unnoticed during the unrelenting coverage of the minutia of her life.

TMZ, which I secretly believe has Paris under contract, is reporting that the condition was psychological and that her mental state was fragile, putting the socialite at risk of a nervous breakdown. No kidding. Cowboy up there, Paris, haven’t you ever heard the phrase “do the time, don't let the time do you?” But it appears that the walls of the prison could not withstand the assault of her lawyers, psychiatrists and PR folk and our favourite jailbird was sprung. She really should have been placed in The Phantom Zone.

"She's using this time to reflect on her life, to see what she can do to make the world better and hopefully, in my opinion, to change the attitudes that exist about her among many people," said Paris’ lawyer, Richard A. Hutton, following a visit after her first night in the slammer. That reflection will now be so much deeper while surrounded by opulent luxury instead of the dreg of society.

Clearly drinking and driving and parole violations are no big deal anymore, at least in Hollywood. I suppose it should be no surprise that our modern-day royalty is treated differently and that her sentence was less about teaching Paris a lesson than satisfying the enormous amount of schadenfreude directed at the 26-year-old celebutard. I look forward to the next episode.