Just Hand Them The Award

You can fill out your Oscar ballot now. Just check off every category that Brokeback Mountain is in, throw in Philip Seymour Hoffman and Reese Witherspoon and you’re done. That was the results at the Golden Globes and so it shall be at the Oscars. If this show seemed anti-climactic, imagine what it will be like when you watch it all over again on March 5.

Anyway, here are a few things that amused me about the show. For full results and all sorts of red carpet pics, head to my friends at Dose.

• Just before Gwyneth Paltrow presented Anthony Hopkins with the Cecil B. DeMille Award, she said it was going the greatest actor of our generation. The clip that aired seconds earlier finished with Hopkins saying: "Don't blow smoke up my ass." Perfect

• Isaac Mizrahi – was he a mess on the red carpet, or a breath of fresh air? He certainly wasn’t staid, asking all the women if they were wearing underwear; asking Hillary Swank, who just announced her separation from Chad Lowe, about being single; grabbing a handful of Scarlett Johansson’s ample bosom (if you missed it, you can watch it here); and telling Charlize Theron that in every movie she's been in for the past three years, she looks like "a scary dyke with no teeth."

• It was great that people weren’t taking things too seriously. Geena Davis, during her acceptance speech for Commander In Chief, said as she was walking in a 9-year-old girl tugged at her dress and said “because of you, I want to grow up and be president.” The whole audience aaaahed. Then she said, "That didn't actually happen, but it could have!"

• Did you catch co-presenters Matthew McConaughey rubbing his hand on Sarah Jessica Parker's bare back? The camera cut to them as they waited for the director of Paradise Now (who I met at the Toronto Film Festival) to come up on stage, while they thought they were safely in the wings. Naughty.

• Here's a question: If theses actors are the cream of the crop, why do they sound so wooden when reading their presenter lines? See Teri Hatcher and Harrison Ford as examples.