Dancing With Scissors

I like musicals. That is to say I don’t think they are the most annoying form of entertainment created by humans. No, wait, I’m equivocating again. I’ve actually seen more singing and dancing than I’ve ever acknowledged and I’ve been known to enjoy it.

In high school I saw both Cats and the Phantom of the Opera caterwaul. While in New York a couple of years ago we did the whole Broadway experience at Avenue Q (20-something, foul-mouthed, underemployed puppets, what’s not to love?) Here in Toronto we’ve completed the circle of life at The Lion King; we could not resist Mamma Mia; Wicked was, well, wicked; and most recently we saw The Lord of the Rings before it met a fiery death in the reviews of Mordor. If anyone else told me that list I’d say they like musicals, so there it is.

So when I got an email about a musical production of Edward Scissorhands coming to Toronto I was intrigued. The classic tale of a misunderstood loner trying to fit into a candy-coated version of ‘50s suburbia is one of director Tim Burton’s best. In the film Johnny Depp was superb as the terrified yet curious boy with scissors for hands and Winona Ryder was still in that cute stage before everyone realized she couldn’t act. Many of Burton’s films appear ideal for adaptation to the stage – The Corpse Bride was essentially a musical and both Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Beetle Juice would also make for colourful show.

But I get ahead of myself. This version is based on Burton’s film but leaves the dialogue behind, choosing instead to interpret the work with dancing topiary, Christian Goths and a cast of 30 dancers. It’s just weird enough to work.

Interested? It’s playing for just three nights - Wednesday, April 4 through Friday, April 6 at 8 PM at the Hummingbird Centre. Login to Ticketmaster.ca with the promotional code EDBLOG to receive a $15 discount off any seat or price range – online sales only. Or check out the official site.

Call Me Call Me Any Anytime

Eat your heart out, Captain Kirk. Watching an episode of Star Trek the other day I realized that my cell phone far surpasses the communicators the original Enterprise crew used. While I may not be able to contact ships in orbit yet, I assume that is more a factor of there not being enough of them to make it a worthwhile feature. Rest assured that once Richard Branson has a fleet of interstellar rockets zipping about subspace your cell will be able to place that call.

We often take the pace of technological improvements for granted but every once and awhile I look back and am amazed. The first cell I used had the weight and aesthetic design of a large brick. I used to carry a camera bag, video cameras were best lugged on you shoulder and my Walkman hung from my side like a gunslinger. I now carry all three in my pocket – and it makes calls too.

The shiny toy I speak of is the Motorola KRZR, the latest version of the must-have gadget. Full disclosure, I received the phone as part of a Motorola and Hill & Knowlton promotional campaign. A group of Canadian bloggers were offered the phone with the only obligation being that you offer feedback on it. There was no requirement to post about it, but if you did they asked that reveal your participation in the program. Blogs are now being regularly tapped for their capacity to increase brand awareness and drive product word of mouth. Does it work? Not my concern. Am I now a shill? Perhaps. I’ve rarely had a job that hasn’t been supported by advertising, so why should my blog be any different?

I’ve tried out most of the functions and while I’ve been pleased I’m also aware that the only device it’s going to replace is my previous phone. Being able to snap pics on the fly is great, but it’s not going to beat out my digital camera. (See the original graffiti pic here) With no flash interior pics are a little dark and grainy, though some of the outside snaps have been great. I’m sure I could improve my technique, but how much time am I going to take perfecting the look of a quickie camera phone photo? It’s for spur-of-the-moment pictures and for that it works just fine.

Same goes for video – the shots are grainy and blurry, especially when blown up to YouTube – but I’m sure I could do better if I tried. I tested the camera the way I figured I’d use it – quickly and without much concern for quality and for that it worked just fine. I was able to download both pictures and video to my computer using the wireless Bluetooth connection, which was a bonus. Plus it makes calls and looks snazzy. Works for me.

Three, Three, Three For My Heartache

Everyone’s for sale, I understand this. Despite that, there’s still a little piece of me that shrivels up and dies every time I hear a song on a commercial that makes me realize another pop culture icon has discovered what their sell price is.

I know, selling out is an outdated concept - the evidence is all around us. Prince played last season’s finale of American Idol and the Super Bowl halftime show on the weekend and the most controversy he managed to stir up was when he made a penis shadow puppet with his guitar. This from a guy who used to writhe about stage in orgasmic pleasure. So I moved on when Supergrass sold out to MasterCard and I accepted that The White Stripes were shills for Coke. I even, grudgingly, understood when Sloan sold a guitar lick to Futureshop.

What I never expected was to see was some schlub happily strutting back to his dreary cubicle with a bag of greasy Wendy’s, to the tune of Blister in the Sun.

When I'm a walkin' I strut my stuff, and I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite, I just might stop to check you out
Let me go on, like I blister in the sun

Sigh. Why Violent Femmes, why? I hate the advertising exec who figured out how much money to put in the dump truck they backed up to their homes. I sure hope it was a lot, because it wasn’t just the fact that they sold the song but the juxtaposition of a teen angst anthem with the crushed reality of office life, where your only pleasure is shoveling down some fast food before the next meeting. You guys might have been paid, but I’m the one who feels ripped off.

Jack & Coke

When The White Stripes exploded on the scene there must have been whole departments full of Coke marketing executives falling over themselves trying to sign them for an ad. Decked out in red and white and the kids singing their praises, it must have seemed like a perfect fit.

But Jack and Meg weren’t to be had – selling their songs for corporate use wasn’t their thing. In 2001 Gap approached them for a commercial, but they were having none of it.

"The Gap wanted us to be in a commercial and we said 'no' and everyone said, 'why not'? It's almost as if, if people are willing to give you that much money, you are insulting everyone you know by turning it down," said White at the time to the New Music Express. "People's opinions about selling out seem to have changed over the years."

And change again it seems, as there is now a White Stripes-penned Coke ad hitting the airwaves. Of course Jack didn’t sell the sugar water conglomerate one of his songs, he wrote them a new one.

"I've been offered the opportunity to write a song in a way which interests me as a songwriter. I certainly wouldn't want a song that I'd already written to be used on a commercial. That seems strange,” said White.

"But to be asked to write something particular along one theme of love in a worldwide form that I'm not really used to appealed to me. I've written a song and I wrote it really quickly and it's an interesting commercial that's been made. I was inspired by the commercial."

He was also likely inspired by the staggering amount of money they must have been offered. Now I’m not so naïve that I don’t understand people have been “selling out” for years and it doesn’t really bother me. I just never expected it from Jack White, who went from turning down the Gap to directly shilling the product: "I think it's the greatest drink ever made by man - I used to have six a day," said the caffeine-adled frontman.

I’m not the only one who never expected to see them singing in perfect harmony with an advertiser.

“He's meant to be the posterboy for the alternative way of thinking,” Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher told the NME. “Coca-Cola man. Fucking hell. And OK, you want to spread your message of peace and love, but do us all a fucking favour. I'm just not having it. It's like doing a fucking gig for McDonald's."

But enough of me, watch the above ad (which admittedly looks cool) and judge for yourself.

Links to Live By

I’ve spent the day surfing, wondering what to write about. My time wasting is you gain. Here are some of the great things I found on some of my favorite blogs:

• I Watch Stuff site joins the ranks of sites moaning that Daniel Craig doesn’t look like James Bond should, whatever that means. The upside is that I was pointed to new publicity pics of Casino Royale, so my many, many thanks.

• I’ve never been able to write these, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy a good haiku about Munich, found on Film Experience.

• Is Scrubs not long for this TV life? It’s on Child of TV’s list of 21 shows likely to be cancelled this year, on top of what has already been announced as no longer for this world.

• TVGasm gives a great overview of the story and cast of the long-in-hibernation Prison Break. It will be back March 20th and I can't wait. Stupid Fox network. Surprise fact? John Abruzzi was the guy who fed Steve Buscemi into the wood chipper in Fargo.

• Hee, hee – betcha George Clooney used to offer free mustache rides. Thanks to Pop Culture Junkies for digging this up.

• Much love to Population Statistic for pointing out the original Fred & Barney cigarette ad on the Flintstones, courtesy of You Tube (them again!) I love seeing how tobacco used to be imbedded directly into pop culture.